The act of being so loose and drunk by a person; whereby they feel compelled to take a shit whilst pissed, then inadvertently deciding they need to vomit into the bowl without flushing.
In extreme cases, and in the most traditional form, the 'Dirty J-Wood' is usually completed with a wet dream whilst spooning a rookie of the universities baseball team.
Tiger was at some loose bitches house last night and got so trashed he had a 'Dirty J-Wood' before he passed out.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'