When a players in a football match (
professional or not)
take it in turns to insert goal posts into their arse holes , then get red arsed by another player. if the goal post goes further in, the player kicking the ball gets a point, if the player with the post manages to tense hard enough to stop the pole from moving, then they get a point. The game rotates until someone has 69 points, and is therefore declared
the Big Dirty Football