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Dildo Ham

Polyurethane composite molded into the shape of a colonial under-slung then fitted with a 2.5 mm thick ham glove that hugs the shaft
Did you see Sharons new dildo ham?
by Firebolt Please May 14, 2019
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Dildo Hammer

1. A disrespectful name one lesbian has for her partner, implying she is nothing more than a pair of hands that operates the business end of a dildo.

2. A person who keeps a cigar in their mouth all day, but does not smoke said cigar. Most likely this person fantasizes about having a penis in their mouth but have not yet admitted to themselves that they are, in fact, a flaming faggot.
ex. 1: Hey Sandy, isn't that your girlfriend Sarah over there?

No, she's just my dildo hammer.

ex. 2: Why does that fucker have a goddamn cigar in his mouth all day? It looks like a limp penis with dog slobber all over it. He's such a dildo hammer.
by Harold M. North March 22, 2010
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Dildo hammer

That guy at work who strokes another guy's ego when he fucks up beyond explanation.
Ole dildo hammer is feeding Gary a line because he crashed the crane and can't fucking deal!
by Boceefus June 18, 2021
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Hamster dildo

Its a hamster and a dildo put together.

It makes the hamster dildo. New invention
by Kinnythedildo September 26, 2017
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Spunky Dildohammer

Obtain a jar of japanese mayonnaise and slather your stale hawt dawg with it. Tell your blind or visually impaired sexin' woman that you're gonna pleasure her with a dildo and butt plug. Lube up a dildo and butt plug in front of her. Stuff the butt plug in her beaver and jam your mayonnaised schlong into her mudflaps. She'll think it's the dildo, til you squirt your baby gravy in there. Then thwap your shrinking dong on her breasts. You must eat half of a Wild Berry Pop Tart during this process, and when you've finished jam the other half into her fuzzy cumdumpster.
Tom Selleck: hey babe want me to rub my moustache on you tonight?
Someone's Mom: Nah. I'm in the mood for plastic tonight.
Tom Selleck: PREPARE TO BE PULVERIZED!
(5 min. later)
Someone's mom: OMG that wasn't a dildo! That was a Spunky Dildohammer
Tom Selleck: I know.
by Murdertrainacomin September 29, 2010
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