DUI Mill
DUI Mill’s (see “DUI Farm”) are similar to puppy mills except with greedy, unresponsive law firms characterized by a business model based on client volume rather than quality of service. This is a prime example of what has now become known as Cruel Capitalism.
These firms can often be recognized by their heavy use of radio adds with catchy jingles and big promises of results with one-on-one special attention to your case which is actually a lie that is perpetuated just long enough for the client to sign the retainer agreement and then all that special attention disappears like fart in the wind.
Once the agreement is signed you fall into the churning sausage grinder that becomes the DUI legal process when choosing to do business with a DUI Mill.
The attorneys at these DUI Mill sausage grinders do not answer emails or respond to calls unless they need something from you, like a reminder that you have an upcoming payment.
Always remember; cramming as many clients as possible into the sausage hopper is what makes the DUI Mill grinder spin. It’s all money based on volume, quantity, and churn not quality and certainly not the desire to spend any time on your case.
Any remaining money you have will need to be spent on a therapist.
These firms can often be recognized by their heavy use of radio adds with catchy jingles and big promises of results with one-on-one special attention to your case which is actually a lie that is perpetuated just long enough for the client to sign the retainer agreement and then all that special attention disappears like fart in the wind.
Once the agreement is signed you fall into the churning sausage grinder that becomes the DUI legal process when choosing to do business with a DUI Mill.
The attorneys at these DUI Mill sausage grinders do not answer emails or respond to calls unless they need something from you, like a reminder that you have an upcoming payment.
Always remember; cramming as many clients as possible into the sausage hopper is what makes the DUI Mill grinder spin. It’s all money based on volume, quantity, and churn not quality and certainly not the desire to spend any time on your case.
Any remaining money you have will need to be spent on a therapist.
I heard the DUI Mill attorney’s catchy jingle on my radio station with promises of help and all I got for my $6000 was ossifer hogg tied, and brady ball gagged.
Hogg tied because you have signed a legal agreement with them, and ball gagged because you have given the worthless attorney your ability to speak.
Unfortunately, there is no hero from some pulp fiction novel that’s gonna come busting into the basement with a metaphorical baseball bat to save you.
Hogg tied because you have signed a legal agreement with them, and ball gagged because you have given the worthless attorney your ability to speak.
Unfortunately, there is no hero from some pulp fiction novel that’s gonna come busting into the basement with a metaphorical baseball bat to save you.
DUI Mill by Reno Sparks February 1, 2022
Get the DUI Mill mug.