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Couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery 

When someone is so incompetent that they quite literally couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery
Person 1: "Ere, look at 'im ovver yonder"
Person 2: "does tha mean malc?"
Person 1: "Ay, that's 'im"
Person 2 "Ay, dunt trust 'im, 'e couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery"
Person 1: "Ta, fer that advice"
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