Condom's

Rubber glove's that fit's snug on the penis used to prevent sexual transmitted diseases & getting girls pregnant

Steve : Hey Chad where's all the Condom's?
Chad : I had to stop stocking them cause you kept stealing them filling them up with your cum & leaving them all over the store.
Steve : Oh well I guess i'll just pound my raw dick in Jana's soft pussy!
Chad : Fuck You Steve Fuck You!
Jake : Hey Chad where's the Condom's?
Chad : We don't carry Condom's anymore!
Jake : Oh Yeah well Kiersten like's my raw dick better anyway!
Chad : Well you better go stick it in her right now before someone else does!
Jake : Fuck You Chad Fuck You!
Mark : Hey Chad where's the Condom's?
Chad : God Damn't Mark go wrap a plastic bag around your cock or something Jesus Christ!
Mark : Never mind your ex wife enjoy's my raw cock inside her anyway!
Chad : Go To Hell Mark!
Meghan : Excuse me sir where are the:
Chad : MOTHER FUCK DOSEN'T ANYONE USE BIRTH CONTROL ANY MORE JESUS CHRIST WE DO NOT SELL CONDOM'S HERE ANYMORE SO WHY DON'T YOU GO TO CVS AND GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU GOD DAM STUPID CUNT!
Meghan : Oh My God! I was just asking where the graham cracker's were for my sunday school class! (sniff) (sniff)
Chad : Fuck Sunday School you should go home and let your man stick his raw dick inside your pussy!
Meghan : (slap) (slap) (slap)
Chad : GET OUT OF MY STORE YOU STUPID BITCH! GOD I HATE CONDOM'S!

by SlopNChop January 15, 2019

God's condom

God doesn't allow for modern methods of birth control so all good christians instead turn to God's condom aka the butthole. Anal sex is the only true way to avoid pregnancy in the eyes of the lord.

Tina said she wasn't on the pill because she doesn't believe in birth control, but thats ok cause we just used God's condom instead.

by FiGnewtonBAR September 17, 2018

Jimmy's Condom

Southern expression for Anal Sex under the pretense of effective birth control.

Originally based off of "Prying open some ass" and made a little sweeter by adding a convenient, albeit blatant, lie to bypass anal defenses. Hence, Jimmy's Condom.

I wanted to pry some ass from that girl at the enrique iglesias concert. I told her I had the best form of birth control, then stuck it in her ass in the restroom.

Nice, the good ol' Jimmy's Condom

by Flea Prime August 31, 2010

Nature’s condom

When u take the banana out of its peel and replace it with ur penis. Thus u have ur dick in a banana peel.

Like ma homemade fleshlight

Oh u mean nature’s condom

by Ser poohole December 27, 2019

nature's condom

Having anal sex rather than risking pregnancy by having sex the traditional way. This allows for (though isn't advised) unprotected sex without the need to pull out.

However, there have been rare cases where seminal fluid has found its way into the vagina and pregnancy has occurred, so be careful.

"Dude, I totally hooked up with that chick from the club last night, but when we got back to my place I realized I was out of rubbers!"

"Dude, weak! What did you do, Get head instead?"

"Nah, bro, we used nature's condom."

"Nice."

by HobbesTuna December 26, 2007

There's a condom behind that bookshelf

Joke about children's attitude towards sex and lack of practical knowledge or reading skills.

Kid A: There's a condom behind that bookshelf.


Kid B: What's a bookshelf?

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 2, 2004

Napoli's Used Condom

The worst of worst disses, this means that your super gay and like to have "gay butt sex" with other men and there has never been a successful comeback to this statement, and you also like wiener in your butt hole.

No one likes you, your just a napoli's used condom.

by longrodvanghugeendong October 27, 2010