1. Students get over-worked to death

2. The food is shit

3. Middle school parents feel the need to watch their babies walk into the school building, making 97% of high schoolers late every fucking day

- "new" "more-efficient" 8:00 check in time also at fault
1.

student 1: "I got to sleep for 5 entire hours last night."
student 2: "Not fucking fair man, I was up all night studying for physics"

2.
student 1: "What's for lunch?"
student 2: "spicy lemongrass chicken with coconut infused rice"
student 3: "I thought we were having dragon tofu?"

3.

faculty: "you all have detention- it's not my fault it takes you little spoilt columbus academy shits 20 minutes to drive up the driveway"
by the 8:00 check in October 9, 2013
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1. To get mentally and physically attacked by your achedemic commitments at Columbus Academy in Columbus, Ohio.

2. When a student works really hard but never comes out on top like all the other smart kids.
1.

Boy 1: Bro, I have no time to sleep eat or go to the bathroom because of all this schoolwork!

Boy 2: Dude, me too! We're getting columbus academied!

2.

Girl 1: I work so hard and you never have to work in your advanced class!

Girl 2: Well, you learn more

Girl 1: You get weighted! Man, I'm being columbus academied!
by wellalright... May 17, 2011
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1. A school that raises money to "buy new things" but just wastes ALL the money on turning the AC ALL THE WAY UP and then yelling at the kids for trying to keep warm with hoodies
2. The school is now run by the SAGE mafia
3. A knee-length skirt, tall people discrimination cUlt

4. The freshman class always either looks 12 years old or 17, there is absolutely no in between
1. "I heard you, 17-year-old boys, saying crap in the hallway and I find that very disrespectful, detention for all of you."
2. "what's for lunch today?"
"Some form of chicken or pork covered in some sauce, some bougie-ass rice, and vegetables that are either so soft that it's legit mush oR really hard to the point of breaking your teeth."
3. "Is Columbus Academy fixing the wifi?"
"No, they are building a full balcony for the auditorium that no one asked for."
"well, SHIT."
by tuagkuerhguadfkuvkfhk December 7, 2018
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The Columbus Academy is the "premier" private school of Columbus, Ohio. It is cooler than CSG, because we are co-ed. (haha unis) The students there are all extremely amazing or hilarious, or they would not be admitted. (hint, hint people who aspire to be us)
Girl A: "My friend goes to Columbus Academy"

Girl B: "I wish I was there, and a viking, not some mythical creature."

Girl A: "Yeah...... they're lucky, their mascot exists!"
by ajealouscsggirl November 5, 2010
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1. A shit school that expels people due to their parents talking to the news about the school

2. Raises the tuition a few thousand dollars every year and prays people don’t notice

3. Takes all that tuition money and builds a fucking rock climbing wall that nobody asked for it is allowed on, and also to crank the AC during the winter for no reason other than to show Columbus City Schools how cool we are

4. Sage Dining creating some science experiment behind closed doors on how to make chicken out of leftover food scraps, and then proceeding to serve that vile chicken for every single damn meal

5. Consistently shortens times to get between classes, puts them on the other side of fucking campus, and expects you to get there in under five minutes
Student 1: What’s for lunch today?
Student 2: I think it’s pork…
Student 1: Holy shit, after the 15th day of chicken we finally get something edible?

Student 3: Hey mom can I have 80 dollars for school
Parent: Hell no! Why do you need that?
Student 3: So I can buy an overpriced school branded sweatshirt so I won’t come home with pneumonia tomorrow

Teacher: Why were you late?
Student 4: Because packing up, leaving the class, going to your locker, grabbing the stuff for this period, and walking all the way over here takes more than five minutes.
Teacher: That’s no excuse.

Student 4: Easy for you to say you fat bitch, you don’t leave this room until lunch where you load your plate up with mystery meat chicken nuggets and chocolate chip cookies, and then come back here and bitch about people being 15 seconds late

Student 5: What do we have next?
Student 6: Damnit, it’s assembly…
Student 5: Oh great, we get to hear about why all the white kids are racist homophobic sexist pieces of shit again…
Student 6: Hey, don’t forget about the Columbus Academy daily earraping- I mean guess the song challenge
by Dr. Phil Eraz September 9, 2021
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A shithole of rich pussies and privileged brats who feel that the world owes them something.
Even Hitler wouldn't go to Columbus Academy
by Dillion harper September 25, 2015
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Student 1: Hey mom can I practice driving on the way to school? Mom: Sure! Let’s hurry it up. Student 1: (Pulls up in carpool lane) Let’s stop here, when there are teachers waving me to move foward, and I am holding up the rest of the line. Just so me and my mother can switch seats, and the rest of the Columbus Academy community can hate me for a day!
by Cooltree497 September 6, 2021
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