Christmas Eve each year a fat man dressed in
red (possibly to hide the blood) rides around on a "magical flying sleigh" led by
drunk reindeers with names
like Prancer (Yes:teh ghey),breaks into your home,steals your cookies and leaves crappy gifts that last till Boxing Day.
This criminal is thought to be armed and dangerous and has many doubles around the world that molest
children that sit on their laps in malls.
He also has an army of evil munchkins who make crappy toys and kick people in their shins. They have also be known to partake in orgies.
If you approach him,he'll most likely yell "ho,ho,ho!" and shoot you with his laser
gun.
Be afraid children,be very afraid.
Despite his name being chillingly close to Satan,Santa claims he is commiting all these henious on
Christmas Eve crimes in the name of
Jesus.
So we must conclude that not only is Santa evil,but so is
Jesus. Amen.
