Skip to main content

Chief Chief Officer 

Used when a persons job title is bullshit. For example in certain corporations everyone seem to be directors of something, in other words they are Directors of Nothing or Chief Chief Officers.
“Hello, I am the Director of Direct Marketing.”
“Hello, Yes I am also a Director of Direct Marketing but for Sustainable Solutions.”

Temps watching from afar: “God they are such Chief Chief Officers.”
Chief Chief Officer mug front
Get the Chief Chief Officer mug.
See more merch

Chief Petty Officer

The Navy designation for an enlisted non-commissioned officer of the paygrade E-7 and above. Subsequent ranks of Chief include Senior Chief (E-8) and the Master Chief (E-9). The equivalent in military rank to a Sergeant 1st Class, Air Force Master Sergeant, and Marine Corps Gunnery "Gunny" Sergeant.

Chief Petty Officers (CPO's) wear khaki uniforms and a gold, fouled anchor with silver super-imposed USN across said anchor. Senior Chiefs have one silver star, master chiefs have two silver stars, and the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy has 3 stars.

The Chief is often a mid-level to upper-level supervisor of department or workcenter operations aboard US Navy commands. The Chief is theoretically responsible for the safety, conduct and training of sailors under their respective command.

Normally it takes years of training, sea-time, and over-the-top performance for a First Class Petty Officer to qualify for Chief. Chief-selects who pass the Chief's test are considered "board eligible" and their promotion package is reviewed by an eligibilty board. This board is manned by fellow CPO's. Chiefs choose their own members.

The Chief's Mess is often called "the Goat Locker.

Chiefs generally come in one of two varieties, but these are not all-encompassing:

One: The Hard-Charger. This Chief never quits, and expects the best out of everyone, at all times. Usually holding a coffee mug in their hand, heavily stained with the remnants of many cups of coffee. The Hard Charger is usually a chief who will expect the job to get done, done right the first time, or if not, to have any deficiencies rectified, immediately. These chiefs are usually considered by subordinates to be difficult to work for and a "pain in the butt". However difficult they may be to work for, the results of working for a hard charger speak for themselves.

The lazy chief - the lazy chief also holds the sacred coffee mug of Chiefhood. Most of the work done by the lazy chief is actually accomplished by their leading 1st class or subordinate petty officers/seamen. The lazy chief will often take credit for others' hard charging. These chiefs will often, in no particular frequency; come in late without holding ones' self accountable to muster times, take extended lunches, skip out of work due to personal requirements off-site, leave early due to inactivity. These chiefs do not always have the best interest of their sailors in mind. These are the chiefs that will end up taking space from hard working sailors, preventing their subsequent promotion to CPO. Furthermore, like the Hard Charger, the results of working for a lazy chief are usually self-evident, which generally include extra time spent fixing what's gone wrong, cutting into liberty time.

In general, the Chief is a man/woman to respect, admire, and look up to for guidance and advice. Once a Chief, always a Chief.
The Hard Charger:

Chief Petty Officer: Shipmate! Did you dog down that hatch?
Joe Schmuckatelli: No Chief?
CPO: Dog that hatch! You wanna get us all killed?!... AND SHINE THOSE BOOTS!

The Lazy Chief:
Joe Schmuckatelli: Chief, do you have a second? I have a question regarding my checkouts.
CPO: (sips coffee mug while shooting the breeze with LPO) I don't have time, I'm sure this fine Petty Officer 1st Class will be able to help you out, Shippy.

Master Chief Petty Officer John-117 

The Master Chief Petty Officer John-117 is a character of the Halo franchise, his only known name is John. He is known by many as SPARTAN-117, and more as the Master Chief, due to his rank. He is the last remaining SPARTAN-II as of late 2552. He was selected at the age of five to be in the SPARTAN augmentation program, meant to create super-soldiers to quell the Insurrection. The Insurrection was a rebellion from the UNSC. It was mostly destroyed by the end of the Human-Covenant War.

John, along with other SPARTAN-IIs, was augmented with various things. Not all SPARTAN-IIs survived, however. The survivors gained enhanced speed, strength, stamina, and agility. They were excellent tacticians and leaders due to their teaching of nearly every historically significant battle, and then some. In the end, though, John was lost after the destruction of UNSC Forward Unto Dawn. He was a hero, and died saving humanity.

Meanwhile, he has been mocked across the internet for the Halo story being poor and him being a 'fail'. While the story is not the greatest, surely it is not the worst, or it would be so bad it's good. Of course, your mileage may vary...

Please do not confuse with Mister Chief.
"lol mastur ch33f suckas my asshole

"which 1ne?"

"all eight lolololololoolol fuck u"

"Hmmm, this "Master Chief Petty Officer John-117" seems quite similar to other video game heroes."

"Yes, indeed."

"hai r u mster chif?"

"no im not a chef lolololololollollololooll1111"

chief sandwich officer 

The individual in every organization that is most concerned by what is for lunch. He/She does not order lunch. But must have lunch. Always. Even when it is dinner.
Father of the modern position of Chief Sandwich Officer: Brady Walcott.
One hour after lunch, my Chief Sandwich Officer explained he was hungry. Being experienced senior management, he produced a pocket sandwich and ate heartily. This both quieted his hunger and insured I had to answer all client questions since his mouth was full and it would be rude to speak.

Chief Head Officer 

A woman (or more rarely a man) who finds him or herself near the top of the corporate ladder for no other reason than aptitude for performing and willingness to perform sexual favors.
Damn, that girl got the history department award, and is somehow president of the club the history teacher sponsors? She’ll make a fine Chief Head Officer someday.

Double Chief Knowledge Officer 

A real position, above the Chief Knowledge Officer. Usually held by people named adam for some reason.

The Chief Knowledge is the highest position of authority in the Knowledge Department of the company, doubley as in important and powerful than the Chief Knowledge Officer.
Chief Knowledge Officer: The Double Chief Knowledge officer does not exist

Chief Knowledge Officer: Yes it does, look it up.

Suck it stone

Chief Everything Officer 

A person in start up business who is responsible for everything from top down to down up
He is a CEO of a start up and he does everything... so is he a Chief executive officer ... no dude , he is Chief Everything Officer !