Chastolocism is the true religion of abstainment. Jason Everett, commonly known by Christians as God, is the founder and leader of this revolutionary step towards eternal life. Jason is life. Chastise. Abstain. Act like he is watching. He is creator, he is inventor, he is the Stainer, the Tiser. Refer to your local priest to inquire about joining and if they tell you the religion does not exist, spit in their face and tell them Jason will punish them rightfully when their time comes.
Priest: Hello young man, why have you come to me? Confession? Praise?
Child: No. I’m here for chastolocism.
Priest: Wtf is that?
Child: I fucking hate you. I am going to murder your family.
Child: No. I’m here for chastolocism.
Priest: Wtf is that?
Child: I fucking hate you. I am going to murder your family.
by Chasdadty2 November 17, 2019
The religion of Jason Everet. Jason, commonly known by Christians as “God”, saved us all through chastising and abstaining with his wife, Crystalmeth, and will come in the end to take us away rightfully.
Priest: Hello young man, why are you here? Confession? Baptism? Praise?
Kid: No, I’m here to inquire about Chastolocism.
Priest: What is that?
Kid: You don’t know what I speak of you fool?
Priest: No, what are you talking about?
Kid: Oh don’t you worry. Jason will find you, and he will murder you cold heartedly. Abstain you nincompoop, or die a painful suffering. Good riddance simpleton.
Kid: No, I’m here to inquire about Chastolocism.
Priest: What is that?
Kid: You don’t know what I speak of you fool?
Priest: No, what are you talking about?
Kid: Oh don’t you worry. Jason will find you, and he will murder you cold heartedly. Abstain you nincompoop, or die a painful suffering. Good riddance simpleton.
by Chasdadty2 November 17, 2019