Skip to main content

Monkey Branching 

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
Monkey Branching by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
Monkey Branching mug front
Get the Monkey Branching mug.
See more merch

Monkey Branching 

when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. she's basically branching off from her boyfriend and establishing backups.
yo dude I saw your girl at starbucks giving her number to some guy. I don't think she saw me. it looks like she's monkey branching, you should dump her.
Monkey Branching by soulblk4000 December 2, 2010
Branching- The act of cutting random tree branches from random houses and placing them on people’s doorsteps. Optional: Add a fake love letter with cheesy tree branch joke
Kelsey: Hey i'm bored
Amir: I saw a big tree earlier... wanna go branching?
Kelsey: Yeah! I'll bring the truck!
branching by aymurrr August 18, 2011

Branchist 

When a member of one military branch exposes or exaggerates issues with another military branch in a derogatory or fun loving way.
Marine: "At least I didn't take the easy way out like those Coast Guard pussies "

Civilian: "Hey man, that's a branchist of you..."

jules bianchi 

a widely known f1 driver who unfortunately died in 2015.
person 1: did you hear about what happened to jules bianchi?

person 2: ye he unfortunately passed away .
jules bianchi by Ben21224818 November 12, 2018
Usually Italian descent meaning "White Dove"

Loud, loveable, enjoyable people who know how to have fun without even trying.

Attention is always on them. Easy to talk to and always willing to lend a hand to help, an ear to listen for, and a shoulder to cry on.
Nieghbor: " Them Bianchini's are at it again"
Bianchini by AnjB February 24, 2010

branchild 

When you eat too much All-Bran and shit a loaf the size of an infant.
Damn, my ass is still sore from giving birth to that branchild this morning.
branchild by daledimmadome July 18, 2017