Top definition
The moment in which you now no longer resemble a human being but look more like a beached whale ready to take its eternal rest. protocal requires you to update you facebook status to read "beached whale status", but chances are your not gonna get it up there.

**You are now at the point of no return, you will not move for the rest of the night unless there is an emergency**
idiot: yo hand me my phone

You: dude i cant im beached whale status right now
by Mr.DirkAsFuck February 18, 2011
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