Barking Schneider 

A man who has hit puberty early and has hair covering his whole body. Barking schneiders are usually found picking their gooches and howling at the night sky. They can also be seen frolicking with the noble kinceis. Rumors say the barking schneiders shlong is four times larger than its middle finger.

The barking schneiders closest non extinct relative is the saber tooth squirrel.

Barking Schneider by James "the poon slayer" Busich December 3, 2013

Barking Schneider 

A very hairy, early matured child. Most likely a man with a mustache as early as 5th grade. Is very rare and can be found howling in the moonlight nude on a tree branch. Can be agressive when provoked.

The barking schneider is arguably the 8th wonder of the world, although skeptics say he is only a myth. He is often compared to hagrid, an oversized hairy lard from harry potter.

Barking Schneider by Pooch Pounder December 3, 2013