Balds of Fury
(noun)
1. A notorious crew of hairless degenerates who were forged in the flashing lights, multiballs, and tilts of pinball machines. Originally just a handful of chrome-domed flipper fiends, the Balds of Fury evolved into a full-blown cult of arcade chaos — fueled by beer, bragging rights, and the eternal hunt for “just one more game.”
2. Known to descend upon bars and arcades like a shiny-headed biker gang (but with quarters instead of chains), their natural habitat is anywhere a steel ball can ricochet off bumpers while they yell things like “House ball!” or “Jackpot!” loud enough to scare civilians.
3. While they’ve since expanded into trivia, pool, and wing-night dominance, pinball remains their sacred ground — every flipper flip a prayer, every drain a tragedy, every high score a victory etched in legend.
(noun)
1. A notorious crew of hairless degenerates who were forged in the flashing lights, multiballs, and tilts of pinball machines. Originally just a handful of chrome-domed flipper fiends, the Balds of Fury evolved into a full-blown cult of arcade chaos — fueled by beer, bragging rights, and the eternal hunt for “just one more game.”
2. Known to descend upon bars and arcades like a shiny-headed biker gang (but with quarters instead of chains), their natural habitat is anywhere a steel ball can ricochet off bumpers while they yell things like “House ball!” or “Jackpot!” loud enough to scare civilians.
3. While they’ve since expanded into trivia, pool, and wing-night dominance, pinball remains their sacred ground — every flipper flip a prayer, every drain a tragedy, every high score a victory etched in legend.
• “Don’t challenge the Balds of Fury to pinball unless you’re ready to be blinded by scalp glare and humiliated on the leaderboard.”
• “I thought it was just one bald guy playing pinball… then six more appeared out of nowhere. Classic Balds of Fury ambush.”
• “Some say the Balds of Fury were born when a Stern machine tilted too hard and the universe decided hair wasn’t necessary.”
• “I thought it was just one bald guy playing pinball… then six more appeared out of nowhere. Classic Balds of Fury ambush.”
• “Some say the Balds of Fury were born when a Stern machine tilted too hard and the universe decided hair wasn’t necessary.”
by GuidoDaPimp September 11, 2025
Get the Balds of Furymug.