Balds of Fury
(noun)
1. A notorious crew of hairless degenerates who were forged in the flashing lights, multiballs, and tilts of pinball machines. Originally just a handful of chrome-domed flipper fiends, the Balds of Fury evolved into a full-blown cult of arcade chaos — fueled by beer, bragging rights, and the eternal hunt for “just one more game.”
2. Known to descend upon bars and arcades like a shiny-headed biker gang (but with quarters instead of chains), their natural habitat is anywhere a steel ball can ricochet off bumpers while they yell things like “House ball!” or “Jackpot!” loud enough to scare civilians.
3. While they’ve since expanded into trivia, pool, and wing-night dominance, pinball remains their sacred ground — every flipper flip a prayer, every drain a tragedy, every high score a victory etched in legend.
(noun)
1. A notorious crew of hairless degenerates who were forged in the flashing lights, multiballs, and tilts of pinball machines. Originally just a handful of chrome-domed flipper fiends, the Balds of Fury evolved into a full-blown cult of arcade chaos — fueled by beer, bragging rights, and the eternal hunt for “just one more game.”
2. Known to descend upon bars and arcades like a shiny-headed biker gang (but with quarters instead of chains), their natural habitat is anywhere a steel ball can ricochet off bumpers while they yell things like “House ball!” or “Jackpot!” loud enough to scare civilians.
3. While they’ve since expanded into trivia, pool, and wing-night dominance, pinball remains their sacred ground — every flipper flip a prayer, every drain a tragedy, every high score a victory etched in legend.
• “Don’t challenge the Balds of Fury to pinball unless you’re ready to be blinded by scalp glare and humiliated on the leaderboard.”
• “I thought it was just one bald guy playing pinball… then six more appeared out of nowhere. Classic Balds of Fury ambush.”
• “Some say the Balds of Fury were born when a Stern machine tilted too hard and the universe decided hair wasn’t necessary.”
• “I thought it was just one bald guy playing pinball… then six more appeared out of nowhere. Classic Balds of Fury ambush.”
• “Some say the Balds of Fury were born when a Stern machine tilted too hard and the universe decided hair wasn’t necessary.”
by GuidoDaPimp September 11, 2025
Get the Balds of Furymug. house ball
ˈhau̇s ˌbȯl
noun
1. A pinball term: the ball that drains immediately after being launched, typically going straight down the middle or out an outlane, before the player has any chance to make contact with a flipper. Often compared to a casino “house win,” since the machine effectively keeps the player’s money without providing any meaningful play.
2. Informal: An exaggerated complaint made by a pinball player who insists that house balls occur to them far more often than to anyone else, despite all evidence to the contrary. Usually accompanied by dramatic outbursts, theatrical sighs, or the conviction that the universe is conspiring against them personally.
— house ball, verb
house-balled; house-ball·ing
: to suffer an immediate drain without making contact with the flippers
Etymology:
First known use: mid-20th century pinball arcades, where unlucky plunges were said to be “claimed by the house.” In modern usage, the term has expanded to describe both the event and the theatrical meltdown of certain players who treat every house ball as a cosmic injustice aimed squarely at them.
ˈhau̇s ˌbȯl
noun
1. A pinball term: the ball that drains immediately after being launched, typically going straight down the middle or out an outlane, before the player has any chance to make contact with a flipper. Often compared to a casino “house win,” since the machine effectively keeps the player’s money without providing any meaningful play.
2. Informal: An exaggerated complaint made by a pinball player who insists that house balls occur to them far more often than to anyone else, despite all evidence to the contrary. Usually accompanied by dramatic outbursts, theatrical sighs, or the conviction that the universe is conspiring against them personally.
— house ball, verb
house-balled; house-ball·ing
: to suffer an immediate drain without making contact with the flippers
Etymology:
First known use: mid-20th century pinball arcades, where unlucky plunges were said to be “claimed by the house.” In modern usage, the term has expanded to describe both the event and the theatrical meltdown of certain players who treat every house ball as a cosmic injustice aimed squarely at them.
• “Launched the ball, drained instantly — that’s a house ball.”
• “On older machines, house balls are common and just part of the game.”
• “HOUSE BALL?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? THIS MACHINE IS RIGGED!!!”
• “That wasn’t a drain, that was a government-sanctioned assassination of my bonus multiplier… HOUSE BALL!!!”
• “Three house balls in a row? Clearly the pinball gods hate me personally and no one else.”
• “You didn’t just get a house ball, bro… you got a deep state conspiracy.”
• “On older machines, house balls are common and just part of the game.”
• “HOUSE BALL?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? THIS MACHINE IS RIGGED!!!”
• “That wasn’t a drain, that was a government-sanctioned assassination of my bonus multiplier… HOUSE BALL!!!”
• “Three house balls in a row? Clearly the pinball gods hate me personally and no one else.”
• “You didn’t just get a house ball, bro… you got a deep state conspiracy.”
by GuidoDaPimp September 14, 2025
Get the House Ballmug. A trivia death cult that turns Buffalo Wild Wings into a weekly war zone, crushing hopeful teams like empty beer cans under a barstool. The Hateful Eight doesn’t “play” trivia—they commit intellectual homicide with a side of ranch.
A gang of beer-fueled know-it-alls who take so much joy in annihilating the competition that you wonder if therapy would be cheaper than showing up on Tuesday nights. Losing to them feels less like trivia and more like being publicly pantsed in a crowded gymnasium.
The reason half the regulars fake work shifts, sudden illnesses, or car trouble just to avoid getting obliterated again. The Hateful Eight aren’t here for fun, they’re here to remind you that your liberal arts degree isn’t worth jack against eight people who somehow remember the exact name of Shrek’s donkey and every World Cup score since 1970.
A gang of beer-fueled know-it-alls who take so much joy in annihilating the competition that you wonder if therapy would be cheaper than showing up on Tuesday nights. Losing to them feels less like trivia and more like being publicly pantsed in a crowded gymnasium.
The reason half the regulars fake work shifts, sudden illnesses, or car trouble just to avoid getting obliterated again. The Hateful Eight aren’t here for fun, they’re here to remind you that your liberal arts degree isn’t worth jack against eight people who somehow remember the exact name of Shrek’s donkey and every World Cup score since 1970.
• “We thought we had a shot at first place, but then The Hateful Eight showed up and body-bagged us by Round 2.”
• “Nothing ruins a basket of wings faster than realizing you’re playing against The Hateful Eight.”
• “Our team was feeling confident until The Hateful Eight rolled in like the IRS with clipboards and cold beer.”
• “Every Tuesday I tell myself it’s just for fun, and every Tuesday The Hateful Eight reminds me I’m dumber than a box of crayons.”
• “We don’t call it trivia night anymore—we call it The Hateful Eight Appreciation Hour.”
• “Nothing ruins a basket of wings faster than realizing you’re playing against The Hateful Eight.”
• “Our team was feeling confident until The Hateful Eight rolled in like the IRS with clipboards and cold beer.”
• “Every Tuesday I tell myself it’s just for fun, and every Tuesday The Hateful Eight reminds me I’m dumber than a box of crayons.”
• “We don’t call it trivia night anymore—we call it The Hateful Eight Appreciation Hour.”
by GuidoDaPimp September 17, 2025
Get the The Hateful Eightmug.