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Ass Cannon

Characteristics of one with an Ass Cannon
1) This person, man or woman, is known for their explosive power stemming from their ass cheeks. Sometimes unable to control their talent, he or she must be careful when going to take a crap, otherwise people one floor down from the toilet may suffer the consequences as the floor above may break due to the explosiveness of her ass and fall upon this person.

2) One with a humongous ass cannon can also contribute to society. Ass cannons are only called upon by countries military, for example, Greece or Canada, when all other options have been exhausted. Code words: “Release the Kraken!!” are used to deploy the one with an explosive ass. The ass cannon always gets the job done, and leaves behind a devastating scenery of corpses, radiation clouds, and of course, poop.

3) Not only used by the military, those with ass cannons can serve to be useful at barbecues to fire up the grill, as they have the ability to spew deadly fire out their asses.
1) Person 1 with ass cannon: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM…. I did it again, the toilets clogged. I think the floor may have broken as well.
Brother: AAAGGGHH!!! It’s all over me!!!
Mom: *screaming* Your brother!!! He’s… he’s… dead.

2) Person 1: Mr. President, there are no more forces left, we have no other choice! Do what must be done!
Mr. President: *sighs*…This is a sad bitter day... execute order “Release the Kraken”. Get her ass cannon in here. May her future victims rest in peace for the horror they are about experience.

3) Chris: Nancy! Get your ass over here, fire this up! We’re having chicken.
Nancy: Okay, Let ‘er rip! *boom*
Chris: Your ass never fails, great work.
by Ass cannon101 June 04, 2010
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1. place your partner on their shoulders, preferably with some sort of back support. your partner's ass should be in the air.

2. straddle your partner's ass and shove your balls - ONLY your balls - into your parnter's asshole. (this may be painful on the balls, depending on the elasticity of the currently penetrated asshole)

3. with an erection, and while your balls remain in your parnter's asshole, slowly rotate around your partner making cannon noises, much like a the turret of a tank. Onomatopoetic words, such as "boom" and "chk-burrgh* are appropriate.
"Holy Christ, this ass cannon is doing some serious damage!"
by orbasm August 26, 2006
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The farts and/or stool exit noises you get the morning after a beer binge.
After all the beer I drank last night my butt has turned into an asscannon.
by MacDano July 12, 2006
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When you try to take a really big shit, but it ends up being a volcanic explosion outside of your ass cheeks.
" Koonkhmer ! I just did a really big ass cannon on my modern warfare 2 screen ! "
by Koonkhmer March 01, 2010
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insult directed towards a person/friend who is constantly releasing methane gas
Damnit Ken! Plug your fucking ass cannon, I'm tired of the room smelling like shit all the time!
by Sneaky September 01, 2004
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When you have consumed large amounts of food that turns your shit into a liquidy substance and you are able to spew massive amounts of liquid shit from your ass in bursts of atleast 5 seconds
Tom had an Ass Cannon stream that was 7 seconds long.
by I put pp in your coke December 03, 2016
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So one person takes a really huge hit off the bong and holds the hit in. He then goes over to the other person, who is lying on the floor with their ass in the air, and blows the smoke into his ass. The second person then farts the smoke back into the first person's face who then proceeds to huff it hard. This requires an air-tight seal from lip-to-lip (lips to asshole). This technique is popular in prisons utilizing crystal meth, and both people involved get blazed as fuck.
Dude, do you want an ass cannon?

Yeah man, ass cannon me quick!
by TheOneCleanHippie October 31, 2011
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