Ashens

The pseudonym of a British comedian who reviews knock off gaming sytems, action figures, mp3 players, or any other interesting tat that winds up in his local PoundLand.

He's aquainted with the likes of Chef Excellence, The God Monster of Indian Flats, and The Silver Skull...a pathetic "serial killer" that holds a grudge against him JUST BECAUSE.

He's known for his sarcastic, often random, and sometimes witty comedy that makes his ridiculous and ludicrously implausable line of work seem like something worth doing.

He's the fourth most subscribed YouTube user in the United Kingdom...and that's about all he's accomplished with his life.

Garitt the Pumpkin Wrangler: "Hey, did you see the latest Ashens video?"

Abraham Lincoln: "'Did I see it?' I was there when he filmed it"

Garitt: "W-...what?"

Abe: "Totally worth the $600 plane tickets, and $400 for the six weeks of espionage lessons...and $300 spy kit"

by nickreaper December 17, 2011

Ashens

The most British man on the internet who has been reviewing tat on an old brown sofa since 2006. Should be run out of England any time now for not liking tea.

That couch I saw at Ikea looks almost like the one used by Ashens on YouTube!

by This is my handle okay June 22, 2021

Athens 2004

The name of the modern Olympic games of the XXVIII Olympiad held in Athens, Greece 13-29 August 2004.

Seen as the homecoming of the global sporting and cultural event. After delays and setbacks, the Greek organisers managed to complete and stage the greatest and safest games the world has ever seen.

Who would have believed that the Athens 2004 Olympics would be the best Olympics ever!!! Sorry Sydney, you guys still get silver however.

by poja August 11, 2004

Athens Trident

The Athens Trident is when three guys are laying side-by-side. The man in the middle is on his side. The man posterior to him eats his ass while the man anterior to him gives him head. This forms the shape of a trident.

Yo, my boy and I are doing an Athens trident tonight. You want to be the middle man?

by Biggest of Dawgs September 29, 2021

Ascension School

Ascension School is a private school in Oak Park that was established by the Ursuline Sisters in 1912. Its great place to ruin your child’s life. The uniforms would look more flattering on Steve Buscemi then on literally anyone there. They have gym twice a week with the actual corpse of George Washington. That school has gone through more spanish teachers than Taylor Swift has boyfriends. Only decent person who works there is the janitor. The hot lunches went “healthy” which I’m sure is code for containing human flesh. Half the staff wears open toe shoes so the children suffer through horrible education while starting at hairy toes. There are more health codes broken here then in a Mcdonald’s. The students are treated worse than the employers at the hooters on undercover boss. The only decent thing learned is how to roll joints taught by a kid that smoked actual oregano. You might accidently watch a religious movie where a girl is in an abusive relationship so she cheats on him to make him mad him then gets gang raped then runs away and almost dies but Jesus revives her then a queen helps her and has a lesbian make out sesh because a class actually watched this. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a rat in the gym smoking a joint, drinking, and shooting up some heroine all at once. The dances are jokes unless you get blessed by the occasional drunk teacher showing up to twerk on you.

“I’d rather give Hitler a bjthan attend Ascension School”
“But dude you’re Jewish”
“Your point?”

by Justice F. Harambe October 18, 2016

ashes hauled

Relief from sexual tension. Getting laid, getting off.

Mandy, I need to get my ashes hauled. Can you help me?

by Octopod November 8, 2003

Wake up and smell the ashes

A rare version of wake up and smell the coffee, famously used by the Gman in the beggining of half life 2.

So, wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.

by SirGuindilla September 28, 2019