Archaeopteryx
Archaeopteryx, (archaios) meaning "ancient", and πτέρυξ (pteryx), meaning "feather" or "wing"
1.) An ancient reptillian bird that exemplifies the missing evolutionary link between lizards and flying-lizards/modern birds.
a.) In the not-so-distant Future, the Archaeopteryx II is the missing link between man and flying-man. Projected Genetic Blueprint: 1 part man, 1 part phoenix, 1 part Archaeopteryx and 2 parts Olympic Gold-Medalist Vince Carter.
b.) In the "Future," the Archaeopteryx III is the missing link between flying-man and space-man. Projected Genetic Blueprint: 1 part man, 1 part Anaerobic bacterium, 1 part Phoenix (the band), 1 part Archaeopteryx, 2 parts Solar Wind, and 1/2 part Dark Matter.
3.) That guy who's real hot and fucks like a crack-smoking, dragon-slaying, Level 92 Dark Wizard. Also, the same guy who convinced your girlfriend to do anal sex pornography for some extra cash in 2004. Also, the same guy who is currently directing internationally recognized and award-winning bukakke films starring your girlfriend and her friend Kate.
a.) Also, your instincts are terrible in regards to women unlike the skills of the lady-slaying Archaeopteryx
1.) An ancient reptillian bird that exemplifies the missing evolutionary link between lizards and flying-lizards/modern birds.
a.) In the not-so-distant Future, the Archaeopteryx II is the missing link between man and flying-man. Projected Genetic Blueprint: 1 part man, 1 part phoenix, 1 part Archaeopteryx and 2 parts Olympic Gold-Medalist Vince Carter.
b.) In the "Future," the Archaeopteryx III is the missing link between flying-man and space-man. Projected Genetic Blueprint: 1 part man, 1 part Anaerobic bacterium, 1 part Phoenix (the band), 1 part Archaeopteryx, 2 parts Solar Wind, and 1/2 part Dark Matter.
3.) That guy who's real hot and fucks like a crack-smoking, dragon-slaying, Level 92 Dark Wizard. Also, the same guy who convinced your girlfriend to do anal sex pornography for some extra cash in 2004. Also, the same guy who is currently directing internationally recognized and award-winning bukakke films starring your girlfriend and her friend Kate.
a.) Also, your instincts are terrible in regards to women unlike the skills of the lady-slaying Archaeopteryx
Guy 1: The "Archaeopteryx” was an amazing, genetically retarded (in a good way), flying dinosaur that taught all the other dinosaurs how to fly and evolve into birds like him and his hipster friends.
Girl 1: Oh, so you think that’s why the dinosaurs went extinct? No comets or catastrophic climate changes but a magical “Archaeopteryx” that swooped down and persuaded the dinosaurs to grow wings and fly around with him?
Guy 1: Yep.
Girl 1: Really?
Guy 1: Yes, the archaeopteryx is the missing link between reptiles and birds. Archaeopteryx was more evolved than all other dinosaurs at the time. He was pretty suave, for sure, but he convinced them to change so they could adapt to the Earth’s changing environment. Plus, flying is more fun than walking. Plus x2, he had an iPhone 3GS and listened to lots of house and dancehall music while flying above the dinosaurs, in and out of clouds.
Guy 2: Fact: Archaeopteryx is totally awesome and good at sex.
Girl 1: Oh, so you think that’s why the dinosaurs went extinct? No comets or catastrophic climate changes but a magical “Archaeopteryx” that swooped down and persuaded the dinosaurs to grow wings and fly around with him?
Guy 1: Yep.
Girl 1: Really?
Guy 1: Yes, the archaeopteryx is the missing link between reptiles and birds. Archaeopteryx was more evolved than all other dinosaurs at the time. He was pretty suave, for sure, but he convinced them to change so they could adapt to the Earth’s changing environment. Plus, flying is more fun than walking. Plus x2, he had an iPhone 3GS and listened to lots of house and dancehall music while flying above the dinosaurs, in and out of clouds.
Guy 2: Fact: Archaeopteryx is totally awesome and good at sex.
Archaeopteryx by Thrilldabeast1 February 4, 2010
Get the Archaeopteryx mug.