Acute Urban Addiction
A person who looks up a word on Urban Dictionary for shits and giggles and reads it to their friends for laughs, but then begins to sink into the oncoming gargantuan feed of definitions for requested words. They cannot stop, as the moment they finish one definition they immediately fixate on the next.
The only cure is asking them to read the definition for a word obscure enough that there is only one definition for it. After they reach the end, there will reach a short window of time to intervene as they are confused by the possibility of a word on Urban Dict. not having infinite definitions.
Psychologists consider Acute Urban Addiction to be a combination of an addiction to doomscrolling or deadscrolling and Urban Dictionary's intuitive and convenient user interface.
The only cure is asking them to read the definition for a word obscure enough that there is only one definition for it. After they reach the end, there will reach a short window of time to intervene as they are confused by the possibility of a word on Urban Dict. not having infinite definitions.
Psychologists consider Acute Urban Addiction to be a combination of an addiction to doomscrolling or deadscrolling and Urban Dictionary's intuitive and convenient user interface.
(Abacus is being obnoxious during a discussion on names, so they ask their friend Baphomé to look up the definition of Abacus.)
Abacus: Hey Baphomé, what's the definition of Abacus?
Baphomé: Lemme look it up... on the URBAN DICTIONARY™!
(Baphomé reads from a long, unending list of definitions for Abacus's name. Some are made by friends of someone called Abacus, and those definitions placate and kiss-ass their Abacus. Others are made by enemies of someone made Abacus and describe their Abacus as a monster and fool. The definitions are unending all the same, and Baphomé's reading with them.)
Carrion: Baphomé, what's wrong‽
Abacus: She started reading Urban Dictionary and now she won't stop!
Carrion: She has Acute Urban Addiction! We need to get her to a doctor ASAP!
Abacus: Hey Baphomé, what's the definition of Abacus?
Baphomé: Lemme look it up... on the URBAN DICTIONARY™!
(Baphomé reads from a long, unending list of definitions for Abacus's name. Some are made by friends of someone called Abacus, and those definitions placate and kiss-ass their Abacus. Others are made by enemies of someone made Abacus and describe their Abacus as a monster and fool. The definitions are unending all the same, and Baphomé's reading with them.)
Carrion: Baphomé, what's wrong‽
Abacus: She started reading Urban Dictionary and now she won't stop!
Carrion: She has Acute Urban Addiction! We need to get her to a doctor ASAP!
Acute Urban Addiction by OneBlueGlove January 25, 2024
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