Beast wank

The act of spaffing into a carrier bag, 6 or 7 times a day. Usually performed by a spaff beast.

Craig, you spaff beast. Stop having a beast wank into that Sainsbury's bag for life and come for a beer.

by RossMcC March 30, 2011

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Angry wank

To completely explode and spew ones anger in the face of an unwitting person

Charisma had an angry wank when Judy commented on the redness of her hair after she had accidently dyed it that colour.

by 1 Toy Maker June 3, 2018

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A method of masturbation whereby the masturbator uses a traditional one-hand grip on the penis, while inserting the thumb from his other hand up his anus. Due to the slightly uncomfortable positioning, this practice can mean the participant takes a "long"time to complete the wank to satisfaction.

This method was apparently first seen performed in Scotland and in recognition of this, the Scottish word for Long, "Lang" is used.

I just had a lang wank, but boy, my arse is a little tender now and I can no longer bring myself to smell my thumb.

by The Artful Fudger December 13, 2010

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Shame wank

When you wank for so long and you have used up all your acceptable wank fantasies. You must then journey to the dark side of the wank, which is full of all the good looking people just too young to go out with in school.

Oh shit, there goes my last valid wank fantasy. I should stop before this turns into a shame wank.

by ShammyDooWop August 23, 2016

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Wank in the Bush

When you have an awkward boner and cannot keep it in your pants any longer and there isn't a bathroom near by, so you whip it out and pretend you're taking a piss but secretly wank in the bush.

Dan: "Liam mate are you having a wank in the bush?"
Liam: "Na mate just taking a piss, being holding it in all day!"

by professor oi oi July 29, 2016

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