Apples Have Epilepsy

When you mishear something hilariously wrong because you couldn't really hear the speaker.

Named for a hilarious fail from The Pun Guys doing the Whisper Challenge, where one person wears "loud-ass headphones" and has to figure out the nonsensical sentence that is being said to them.

The opposite of this is "The Thin Rhino" (Also from The Pun Guys)
Dan: Camels eat sexy paper clips.
John: ...Apples have epilepsy!

*Dan dies laughing*

(Opposite version)

John: The thin rhino ate the possessed i-pod.

*Later*
John: The thin rhino...
Dan: The thin rhino?

John: YES!

Dan: What? Wow!!
by Ubeenbamboozledson June 25, 2020
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to have a food baby

to drop a deuce of significant mass and girth
to have a food baby, or not to have a food baby,

that is the question
by Ae5Ea8 November 23, 2016
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have a great career

What you tell someone who works a menial job that gives you attitude or doesn't know what the hell you're talking about when you ask them for customer service. This is said as a let down when the person gives you attitude.
Customer: Hi can you tell where to find the stationary?

Walmart employee: Huh? What's that?

Customer: Office supplies. (Thinks to himself "what a dumbass")

Walmart employee : I don't know sir, why don't you go find it your fucking self!

Customer: Wow! You truly hate your dead end job, have a great career at Walmart!
by cpetkunas December 04, 2022
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don’t you have

A term, typically used when you fail chemistry.
I didn’t prepare my chemistry exam”
Don’t you have
by _bratgirl15 November 26, 2021
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I have bonkers

If your parents are out. And you have the house to yourself, you have bonkers.
"I have bonkers to night so I will throw a party."
"I have bonkers come over."
by eswn September 04, 2020
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i have cheese

means to have a wedgie
I wanted to go to Fruit Salad, but I have cheese.

Can someone tell the new girl she has cheese?
by jakiechan79 April 28, 2021
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Have we met?

When a stranger text and you are trying to be nice in reply, or when someone says Hi and you have no freaking clue who they are!
-Hey
+Hey, Have we met?
by Hojack Borseman October 28, 2020
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