chodeiolous effect

The natural phenomenon that causes everything to go to shit. Scientists have theorized that the natural rotation of the earth causes minuscule ripples in the chode-time continuum, resulting in widespread chodeular bullshit. These ripples, in turn, cause shifting of the chodetonic plates, exponentially magnifying the chodestorm. The scientific community has reached a consensus that such events as the extinction of dinosaurs, Nickelback's formation, and the Holocaust were caused by the chodeiolous effect. Many philosophers have alluded to this phenomenon in their works:
Westley, the Dread Pirate Roberts: "Life is pain, Highness"
Whoever the fuck came up with Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"
Batman: "My parents are dead"
Everyone is affected, with the notable exceptions of Satan and his offspring.

Jim: How was your day today Bill?
Bill: Not great. I woke up and we were out of Frosted Flakes. Then I found out I have gonorrhea. Then I turned on the TV and saw that my entire family died in a 10-car pileup on the freeway. Then I checked my fantasy football team and saw my running back on the injury report.
Jim: That's the chodeiolous effect for ya.

by Stephen Cocking September 11, 2016

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Chode

1. A penis which has a girth at least as long as, and often longer than, it’s length
2. A term of insult reserved for males who just can’t pull it off

Ex) Mark: What’s the formula to determine whether this polygon is a chode?

Steve: Girth ≥ length.

Mark: Thanks.

Ex) Mark: Hey dude, meet the new guy at the office, Allister. He’s really into TAP OUT.

Steve: Where’d you find this chode? The back of an east Dayton dumpster?

Allister: Hey man, the name’s Allister.

Steve: Whatever you say, chode. Let’s get some burritos. New guy’s buying.

by theFUDpucker September 8, 2016

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