A latex, polyurethane, or natural sheepskin oblong barrier placed over the penis for eliminating most chance of pregnancy for human males who can:
1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.
Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.
Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.
The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.
Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.
Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.
The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
'Jeanette is pregnant now.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
by Kyle Lees April 26, 2006
Get the condom mug.A piece of latex that is put on man's penis to prevent a child and women who will steal your money for 18 years.
*people on mary*
woman: "he is yo child1 I am 5000% sure!
man: "he ain't mine, I was wearing a condom!"
woman: "you owe me some child support you deadbeat!"
mary: "in the case of the little baby, sir, you are not the father."
woman: *runs of stage crying*
woman: "he is yo child1 I am 5000% sure!
man: "he ain't mine, I was wearing a condom!"
woman: "you owe me some child support you deadbeat!"
mary: "in the case of the little baby, sir, you are not the father."
woman: *runs of stage crying*
by urbandictionarydefz April 14, 2011
Get the Condom mug.Related Words
Candom
• Candombe
• candominium
• condom
• Candyman
• Condomsation
• condomplating
• condomize
• condomplate
• Candor
Condom free youth(or sometimes called the the "condom free youth crew") is a brotherhood originated in western, new york(716 area code)that hates using condoms. Their main goal is to have unprotected sex with as many virgins as possible(although usually they are not virgins), all of which using the raw dogging method. The crew lives condom free, drug free, god free, and usually even sock free. They all take pride in the fact that their unprotected dogg was inside a girls vulnerable birth canal.
Durring the 1970's most of the condom free youth crew member's penises actually fell off. Most of the 70's to 80's era condom free youth crew founders were unfortunately victims to crack-cocaine and heroin abuse, so they didn't think much about what babes they selected to "get with". To prevent future"dogg rot" cases, it is now mandatory that you are straightedge/hardcore, or have at least one "X" tattoo.
It is extremely controversial as to who actually belongs to the "condom free youth crew", and the actual number is unknown. One must also take into consideration that just because you have been raw dogging a girl, that simply does NOT make you a "member" in the condom free youth crew. As of 2008, the ones who are the most "down" with their crew have been getting "condom free youth crew" tats. The most common spot for the tattoo is across their throat, the second most common spot is actually on their penis.
Durring the 1970's most of the condom free youth crew member's penises actually fell off. Most of the 70's to 80's era condom free youth crew founders were unfortunately victims to crack-cocaine and heroin abuse, so they didn't think much about what babes they selected to "get with". To prevent future"dogg rot" cases, it is now mandatory that you are straightedge/hardcore, or have at least one "X" tattoo.
It is extremely controversial as to who actually belongs to the "condom free youth crew", and the actual number is unknown. One must also take into consideration that just because you have been raw dogging a girl, that simply does NOT make you a "member" in the condom free youth crew. As of 2008, the ones who are the most "down" with their crew have been getting "condom free youth crew" tats. The most common spot for the tattoo is across their throat, the second most common spot is actually on their penis.
jerald-"hey dude, see that new trojan commercial?"
hussein-"condom free youth crew man, fuck condies.
ice cream shop dude-"who wants a frosty dick pop!?!?!"
innocent little kid-"YO, ARE YOU IN THE CFYC?"
hussein-"condom free youth crew man, fuck condies.
ice cream shop dude-"who wants a frosty dick pop!?!?!"
innocent little kid-"YO, ARE YOU IN THE CFYC?"
by snaggletoothnigga November 27, 2009
Get the condom free youth mug.Insult, directed towards men. Insinuates the person who it is directed at sucks penises, albeit in a safe fashion which just overall makes it even more humorous.
Telemarketer: This call may be monitored or recorded.
Pissed Caller: Actually it won't condombreath.(click.)
Pissed Caller: Actually it won't condombreath.(click.)
by Grewsome June 15, 2008
Get the condombreath mug.A person who is mysteriously able to obtain very high grades in school despite watching NBA on his laptop during classes.
by RandalGodwin March 15, 2011
Get the Condominic mug.Meaning:
Alpine MusicSafe Pro.
This is a pair of earpieces, that partially block out sound around you, so it remains audible, but not loud enough to be bad for your ears.
Emythology:
Sound Condoms obviously comes from Sound and Condom. Condoms preserve the fun and reduce the risk of what they're used for, which I'm not going to literally post here. Sound Condoms make sure you can still hear your music and enjoy it, but just reduce the chance of permanent hearing damage, just like normal condoms protect you from AIDS.
Alpine MusicSafe Pro.
This is a pair of earpieces, that partially block out sound around you, so it remains audible, but not loud enough to be bad for your ears.
Emythology:
Sound Condoms obviously comes from Sound and Condom. Condoms preserve the fun and reduce the risk of what they're used for, which I'm not going to literally post here. Sound Condoms make sure you can still hear your music and enjoy it, but just reduce the chance of permanent hearing damage, just like normal condoms protect you from AIDS.
Guy1:
Aargh! That drumkit is LOUC, bro! Why don't you have hearing damage yet!?
Guy2:
I use Sound Condoms
Guy1:
Eh?
Guy2:
See? *shows the contents of his ears*
Guy1:
Ah. I get it.
Aargh! That drumkit is LOUC, bro! Why don't you have hearing damage yet!?
Guy2:
I use Sound Condoms
Guy1:
Eh?
Guy2:
See? *shows the contents of his ears*
Guy1:
Ah. I get it.
by ChromeLynx May 15, 2010
Get the Sound Condoms mug.When a person puts 100 condoms on their penis. When the penis enters the anus or vagina from many condoms friction occurs starting a fire in the anus. They then get the fire extinguisher, stick it in the anus, then spray to stop the fire. What they didn't know was that the fire extinguisher was actually an oil hose starting a mass fire killing everyone.
by تاريخ إيزيس أو للاغتصاب فيالأح December 21, 2016
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