Secretard

A secretary who is so incompetent at everything in her job description that she secretly throws people under the bus all day long because her only true skill is being a butt snorkeler.

I want to grow up to be a secretard just like her.

If only aptitude tests would offer secretard as a career option.

Secretards need not apply!

by Duh da duh December 26, 2008

Secret Sniff

The secret sniff is a sexual technique that has evolved over the years to prevent the unfortunate situation of fellatio on a less-than-ripe vagina.

To perform the secret sniff, one most slowly and carefully start the oral foreplay somewhere in the region of the woman's bosom. Whilst moving south towards the area of the subject's fertility field, one should then start a process of subtle nasal inspection. The secret sniff is just that, a quiet, inconspicuous, drawn out sniff that if done properly would alert the oral giver to a potentially undesirable vagina. In extreme cases, the smell can be picked up as far away as the woman's neck. Legend has it that a poor male once had unintentionally performed a secret sniff from across a bedroom, leading him to down a jamo and proceed directly to rushed sex.

Poor Dave, I heard he had a cold last weekend and was unable to pull the good ol' secret sniff on that slut he picked up. He said food tasted like spoiled sea bass for a week

by secretsniffer10 December 21, 2010

secret

when someone of the opposite sex wants to whisper to your ear something personal. But they secretly attack you, licking your ear and tickling your ear drum with their tongue

Depending on the state of the two people. This maybe found arousing.

Girl: Can I tell you a secret?
Boy: Yes
Girl: licks the inner of the boys ear
Boy: aww you got me

by NoPouties July 25, 2010

secret santa

A prank that involves dropping of deuce (poop) into the back part of toilet, so that everytime they flush, the water tank empties and the poop hits the open air greeting them with a stinky suprise to last the whole year round. ho ho ho...

I was at a cable job and the customer pissed me off so bad, I left them a secret santa in thier toilet.

by Tony Baggadonas October 12, 2004

secret sock

A condom....usually latex....always clandestine.

Mom "Benjamin do you have everything you need for summer camp? Your sleeping bag....your flashlight....clean underwear...."
Benjamin "Hell yes mother. I got me a nice new box of secret socks too. I heard Veronica McDougal's gonna be at CAMP too!!"

by MBFree September 6, 2008

Texas Secession

An idea that only a dipshit would support. Right now, Texas is still an economic powerhouse, unlike most of the other states. Some people fear Obama's increased taxes, as if it would ruin our economy, so they bring up the idea of seceding. This is pretty stupid. Texas would have to make their own versions of necessary federal programs, all of the fortune 500 companies in Texas would move to another state, and the US would embargo everything from Texas. I could go on and on about this, but in short: Texas secession would be a blow to the balls for Texas, and a blow to the balls for America as well. Isn't it funny how people think Texas could secede because Texas willfully chose to be a U.S. state in 1845, but nobody considers secession for any other state?

I live in Texas, a very diverse state with over 25 million residents. 90% of us understand that Texas secession is a terrible idea. Please, ignore the minority of dipshits. Sam Houston frowns upon them.

by dirty_frank July 22, 2009

Secret Santa

The act of nutting(ejaculating, cumming, skeeting) in your hands, then sneaking up behind someone and rubbing a santa-esque beard on their face. This maneuver is only done during the holiday season.

Jill- That fucker Danimal came up behind me last night at the christmas party and gave me a secret santa!

Delilah- Hot.

by Killa_D.eez nuts! December 26, 2010