Sign-off monkey

A person who has a steady, reasonably-paid job that involves upholding standards who is happy to add their signature to any wrong or unethical thing that their employer asks them to sign off. Some examples might be a careless employees working as an Environmental Officer in a local government authority, a Social Worker in an under-staffed Department of Community Services or a Safety Officer at a mine site.

The last person in this position was just a sign-off monkey so for the first couple of months I was mostly sorting out problems.

by JiyaRe December 29, 2019

Walking the monkey

Another definition of masturbation or beating your meat

I'll be right back, I'm going to go walk the monkey. I'm back, walking the monkey was easy

by IBleachedMyEyes February 24, 2020

Hang a monkey

To ‘hang a monkey’ is the go smoke some joints or hit a bong with your mates

Noel: Oi jai come hang a monkey with me down at the park
Jai: hell yeah, im down

by Claret103747 April 20, 2020

spank the monkey

A fukn children's book you probably never heard of.

Y U freakin' out ppl, its just a book! "Spank the monkey lends a hand"

by xxdickyboyxx August 23, 2020

dick hopn sock monkey

Females who change there sexual partners more often than they change underwear...

This towns full of dick hopn sock monkeys bro!

by Savage Chic September 20, 2020

lucky turd monkey

a cool person

he is a lucky turd monkey

by pooplkeis September 25, 2020

The Infinite Monkey Theorem

Everything that can happen, will happen, given enough time.

A: Did you hear? The Patriots came back from a 25 point deficit to win the Superbowl!
B: Wow, that's like stuff from the Infinite Monkey Theorem.

by Azshara October 7, 2020