If it had a penis, I'd touch it.

something that you really, really like. or something that is awesome like a song or a video. not meant to be gay, just funny.

Man that song was awesome! If it had a penis, I'd touch it.

by jake christy February 2, 2009

Shoulder Touch

This action is done when someone says something with a sexual connotation, but you are in a social situation in which you can't laugh at the person, or say anything to your friends for fear of being called out. The shoulder touch is done when all in the party KNOW that a sexual innuendo was said, but can't overtly acknowledge it. When engage in a shoulder touch, you casually create an action, such as scratching your shoulder, or adjusting the shoulder of your shirt.

When choosing the Christmas Cantata by Geoffery Bush, the choir director started rehearsal by saying "Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dive right into the Bush, shall we!" Immediately following these words, a group of friends who are sitting far apart would all engaging in a shoulder touch and look at each other.

by OnWisconsin January 14, 2010

The Midas Touch

A variation on the Golden Shower, The Midas Touch is the sexual act of urinating onto one's hand mid-coitus, and proceeding to slap one's partner across the face.

Roommate: I heard you guys through the wall last night. All I remember was someone shouting, "Everything I touch turns to gold, bitch!", followed by what seemed to be a loud slapping sound. What the Hell, girl?

Girl: Girl, I told you my man had The Midas Touch!

Roommate: Man, ya'll niggas is nasty.

by TheGestaltist June 19, 2014

midas touch

When a married woman gives you a handjob with her wedding ring on

"Dude, you hooked up with the boss' wife?" "Yeah, she gave me the midas touch!!!"

by insizlane December 9, 2008

"i'll let her touch my penis"

not necessarily meaning as it looks, but just referring to a girl as "hot" or "cute"; a girl you want to ask out.

David: yo, do you think that girl over there is hot?
Josh: she's alright, "I'll let her touch my penis"

by thepink1 April 4, 2006

Tongue touch

Using your tongue to get a quick taste of something.

Hey man, I see you got that new ice cream flavor! Can I have a tongue touch?

by W3bst3r B June 4, 2009

Awkward Man Touch

The act of one man silently approaching another man and creepily sliding the back side of his hand down his cheek. often a creepy whisper may be included in the ear of the victim. May appear gay but often done in jest. Performed by the lovable, creepy uncle

Luke Whispered "Evening, Patawon" into the ear of his friend as him nailed him with an awkward man touch

by PersonWithDiabetes December 18, 2008