Programmer Hands

Soft hands of a man, namely a computer nerd, who does not work manual labor, but stays indoors as his job is in an office thus giving him feminine, non calloused hands. Computer nerds and excessive masturbation with lotion is mutually exclusive.
Man A) "I need to keep my hands in good shape; I have smooth hands, smooth girly hands."
Man B) "programmer hands is the correct terminology."
by robotron27 November 30, 2010
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Brick Hands

A person who can not catch a football.
*Jon throws a football to his friend A.j*
*A.j got his hands on it but bounced right back out of them*
Jon: Nice brick hands you'd be a great punt blocker!
A.j: Shut the hell up.
by Jonathan Polamalu October 08, 2012
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jackoff hands

the way that your hands smell when you just get done masturbating. its a combination of spit and dick.
eli: whats up dude
*hand shake*
michael: oh sick dude, whats all over your hands? smells like shit
eli: oh, i was jacking off on my way over here.
michael: jackoff hands!!
by eli jackson April 04, 2009
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hand blob

what happens after a guy gets a hand job, he cums his 'blob' all over the girls hand.
Sam: "I lovvve givng hand jobs! but i hate the blob!:("
Lauren: "I know, i hate the hand blob too!"
by diseased sheep November 16, 2005
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eel hands

derived from brad champagne

hands that feel like alligators
bodan has eel hands, grosssssssss
by brad April 19, 2004
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Hand-fucking

When a women makes her hand shaped like a vagina and the male fucks it like he would a vagina
She allowed me to get a great hand-fucking in last night. I don't even know what base I got to!
by Blazeon69 February 03, 2012
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farm hand

An open handed slap on a hot ass, occasionally followed by a hard tooshie squeeze.

The phrase has its origins in the agricultural industry, where farmers would often slap their cows hard to get their attention. This gesture is an adaptation, its primary intentions being to rouse the attention of females, and to treat them as if they were cattle.
"Damn, Jenny has a hot ass. I'm gonna give her a farm hand."

or

"Last night while I was hooking up with this girl, I have her a huge farm hand. She'll be marked for at least two weeks."
by Shawn Mott June 27, 2005
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