in short.....a soccer mom is some overweight, SUV driving bastard who is often found at your local GameStop or EB games, bitching about Halo 3, saying that it's too fucking violent for her kids. This is also the type of mother who drags her little 'angels' to mcdonalds to buy them a happy meal instead of paddling them and giving them what they deserve.
The're often seen at soccer practice in their gas inefficient SUV that are the size of a Panzerkampfwagen VIII. They are the reason, the ONLY FUCKING reason Kidz Bop(Douche Bop)
is still a successful franchise. Oh and let's not forget the fact that Ms. MarySue is the reason why most car accident's actually tend to happen on the road, and she'll be the one at the voting booth to vote for John McCain, therefore we can see that supports senseless violence and she wants to waste more of her hubby's hard-earned money by buying all kinds of bullshit. Oh and lets not forget about her bratty-ass children, Meg and Dean. Apparently Meg is gonna become a prostitute and Dean is gonna get himself nvolved with MS-13.
The're often seen at soccer practice in their gas inefficient SUV that are the size of a Panzerkampfwagen VIII. They are the reason, the ONLY FUCKING reason Kidz Bop(Douche Bop)
is still a successful franchise. Oh and let's not forget the fact that Ms. MarySue is the reason why most car accident's actually tend to happen on the road, and she'll be the one at the voting booth to vote for John McCain, therefore we can see that supports senseless violence and she wants to waste more of her hubby's hard-earned money by buying all kinds of bullshit. Oh and lets not forget about her bratty-ass children, Meg and Dean. Apparently Meg is gonna become a prostitute and Dean is gonna get himself nvolved with MS-13.
Some dude: *at the movies going to buy a ticket to go see A Perfect Getaway*
Some girl: Oh man, i can't wait to go see this movie.
some dude: me neither babe, me neither.
soccer mom: um, you cant go to that movie, you're not old enough.
some dude: im 18 and she's 17.
soccer mom: why dont you rent tickets to go see Aliens in the Attic.
some dude: omg i hate that fuckibg movie, it's for babies
soccer mom: *covers childrens ears* dont you say that word in front of my sweet little angels!!
some girl: lets make-out.
some dude:*makes out with some girl*
soccer mom: OHMYGOODNESSSTOPTHAT!!! come on kids we're leaving!!!
Some girl: Oh man, i can't wait to go see this movie.
some dude: me neither babe, me neither.
soccer mom: um, you cant go to that movie, you're not old enough.
some dude: im 18 and she's 17.
soccer mom: why dont you rent tickets to go see Aliens in the Attic.
some dude: omg i hate that fuckibg movie, it's for babies
soccer mom: *covers childrens ears* dont you say that word in front of my sweet little angels!!
some girl: lets make-out.
some dude:*makes out with some girl*
soccer mom: OHMYGOODNESSSTOPTHAT!!! come on kids we're leaving!!!
by divinedemigod August 14, 2009
Get the soccer mommug. Definition #45 portrays very well how the "Soccer mom" lives/acts.They have that "better than you" attitude.Most enjoy the thrills of the filthy pirate and fish eye.
But that can be a good thing.
But that can be a good thing.
by big alien July 24, 2008
Get the soccer mommug. i saw a brode walking across the lawn i thought she was a soccer mom player she was kicking her tits around.
by Chavela September 22, 2006
Get the soccer mommug. A Fundemental Christan Women who claims all who are not Christan is evil her husband is a veteran and she has bumper stickers saying "My Kid is a Honour role student" or "I'm a Soccer mom I can't handle it all" or "Land of the free because of the brave" They stay at home talk to other Soccer moms and are connected at the hip she was slutty in collage that's how she passed doing all the professors male and female. She Got Shit Faced 24/7 found her husband on a bar got married has 7 lil'angles who are total dicks. Named Brandon,Edmound, Harry, Kennedy for the girl, and Kaytlin and Howard who the boys will grow up and be criminals and the girls will repeat the cyle. The Father is a veteran from the Persian Gulf war he came back from Iraq boasting about Desert Storm victory makes SIX Figures at a job such as manager or lawyer or became a cop and makes jack shit. The Mom is afraid that her kids will embarrass her and she wants to make more friends so she drags the kids to soccer games and other sports to smoke a joint and gossip. The father is at the firm or VFW and cheating with the secretary at both. The Kids than Finnish a soccer game and go to karate and they think they can kill somebody because they are in Karate. Than it's 11:30 pm the kids come home do Home Work from Honours Algabera. Than have Bedtime. And the cyle resets than they bring a friend over the kid brings a IPod and the mom finds out and kicks the kid out.
Hey Dan's stupid soccer mom wont let him play GTA iv because it makes reference to the Yugoslav wars and Crime and Drugs
by Haxis288 December 8, 2013
Get the soccer mommug. spawn of the devil. annoying, bitchy, over sheltering, and way too protective.
let's start with the typical soccer mom.
stay at home mom
usually blonde, bleached most likely.
caucasian
30-50 years old
'trophy wife'
has 2.6 kids.
bitchy.
whiny.
was in a sorority.
now hubby:
lawyer, doctor, or other high-paying job.
never home
barely knows kids
fucks secretary on 'business trips'.
daughter:
blonde
has a common name like ashley, jessica, britney, etc.
bimbo slut
is 8-12 years old, tries to act like a teenager but fails
teenybopper
popular
does dance
son:
blonde
has a common name like brandon, jason, aiden, etc.
little mr. athlete, does soccer, football, baseball, hockey, lacrosse, and basketball.
racist
10-14 years old
popular
spits everywhere
The family of mrs. soccer mom usually lives in a suburban neighborhood, a big house, and owns two cars. one of which is mom's car, a gas-guzzling suv that she drives obnoxiously, speeding off to baseball practice or dance.
mrs. soccer mom makes up her own esrb ratings:
OK: good
A: acceptable, 13+
N: not in my house! 18+
likes; kids bop, v chip, nail appointments, screaming at people to TURN THAT SATANIC MUSIC DOWN, THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!, etc.
let's start with the typical soccer mom.
stay at home mom
usually blonde, bleached most likely.
caucasian
30-50 years old
'trophy wife'
has 2.6 kids.
bitchy.
whiny.
was in a sorority.
now hubby:
lawyer, doctor, or other high-paying job.
never home
barely knows kids
fucks secretary on 'business trips'.
daughter:
blonde
has a common name like ashley, jessica, britney, etc.
bimbo slut
is 8-12 years old, tries to act like a teenager but fails
teenybopper
popular
does dance
son:
blonde
has a common name like brandon, jason, aiden, etc.
little mr. athlete, does soccer, football, baseball, hockey, lacrosse, and basketball.
racist
10-14 years old
popular
spits everywhere
The family of mrs. soccer mom usually lives in a suburban neighborhood, a big house, and owns two cars. one of which is mom's car, a gas-guzzling suv that she drives obnoxiously, speeding off to baseball practice or dance.
mrs. soccer mom makes up her own esrb ratings:
OK: good
A: acceptable, 13+
N: not in my house! 18+
likes; kids bop, v chip, nail appointments, screaming at people to TURN THAT SATANIC MUSIC DOWN, THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!, etc.
by obamasux September 4, 2013
Get the soccer mommug. Oooookay... First, agrees with most definitons here.
Second, about the one with all the thumbs down... This is about the PHRASE soccer mom. Just because you have kids and are involved in soccer doesn't make you a soccer mom in this respect. If there was a definiton for 'John Doe,' would all the John Does of the world be entitled to try and gut the writers who said 'A generic everyman?' Hopefuly not. 'Soccer mom' is like that, just a little more confusing. And while I agree that there are some dumb people here, recognise a figure of speech when you see one!
Second, about the one with all the thumbs down... This is about the PHRASE soccer mom. Just because you have kids and are involved in soccer doesn't make you a soccer mom in this respect. If there was a definiton for 'John Doe,' would all the John Does of the world be entitled to try and gut the writers who said 'A generic everyman?' Hopefuly not. 'Soccer mom' is like that, just a little more confusing. And while I agree that there are some dumb people here, recognise a figure of speech when you see one!
by Tanon X December 28, 2005
Get the soccer mommug. This is hilarious. I had no idea that people spent so much energy hating, of all people, a group of family dedicated women known as "soccer moms". I fit some definitions; I'm in my early 30's, drive a fuel inefficient SUV to lug my kids & their equiptment, the family dog and our mountain bikes or snow boards, for lack of a better choice of vehicles that can accomodate my lifestyle--but please, as if I had much choice. When a fuel efficient car that can accomodate my kids and our stuff is an option I'll buy it, and yes I'm Christian. But here's where I differ...I'd NEVER put any bumper stickers on my SUV cuz it ruins the paint ;) My kids are homeschooled anyway. YES homeschooled! They learn what they want to learn and what is not taught in school (and I am not talking about the Bible, I'm talking skills needed in the real world). I am not an anal retentive mom who censors everything. That's unrealistic. There are harsh realities that I don't shelter my kids from because I would be doing them a disservice. My 8 year old listens to everything (r&b and rap being his favorites), loves Jazz and Oldies too, just NOT country music. Because my child is exposed to the cursing in rap, plays "violent" games like Unreal Tournament, watches Harry Potter movies, etc. he is a well rounded kid. We do censor of course, but aren't tight assed. We are not our child's "Friend" either and don't let kids walk over us. We are REAL parents who set boundaries and discipline. Not with ludicrous "time outs" but w/ REAL consequences. We are not lazy parents. We are very involved parents. My family isn't white, we are bi-racial (black and mexican) so we, or rather, I, don't fit the bitchy Starbuck's drinking home maker who overprotects her angelic kids to the point of driving the kids away and other "colorful" descriptions. I've met the stereotypical "soccer mom", and I don't like her either. But we are not ALL like that. There are more NOT like that than there are those who are. Really.
In reality soccer moms have gotten a bad rep because of some "bad apples". I don't live off my husband's income. In fact, in addition to homeschooling and tutoring kids other than my own, I operate two businesses, manage our familiy's real estate investments, volunteer doing publicity and fundraising for various organizations (not the PTA--remember, we homeschool), and guess what, excellent driver; I don't myself, my kids, or others in harm's way with bad driving. If my kids are late for activities then they are late...better late than never.
by A REAL balanced soccer mom July 26, 2008
Get the soccer mommug.