Pastry-tipping

When you shove the decorative tip from a pastry bag up your ass so you can extrude decorative shit onto a cake or other surface. Any shape can be used (ie. round, star, ruffle, petals, etc) depending on your personal taste and style.
My boss is a douche so I went pastry-tipping on a cake that I sent him. I hope he likes chocolate.
by The Hebrew National February 17, 2023
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Porcelain Pastry

when someone takes a mean dump, preferably at a bakery and forgets to flush on purpose. leaving the turds "pasteries" in there for the next unlucky users enjoyment.
i went to take a shit at the local bakery and as i opened the toilet seat i gawked at the porcelain pastry someone had left for me.
by BROSKIxSCALLOPS February 24, 2012
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Put Pastry

Did you see that chirp fest in Put Pastry last night?
by Biscuitandtheboys September 26, 2017
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Pastry packet

When one’s cock ejects Lard in a woman’s vag thus making her shortcake look like a pastry packet full of man jizz
Girl “ damn mark you packed my pastry packet full of cream
by Gooterboy69 January 18, 2022
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pastry fucker

A person who masturbates by sticking their dick in the hollow part of a donut.
Cop gave me a speeding ticket when I was only 5 mph over the limit! What a pastry fucker!
by mandi November 28, 2003
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Pastry Lampard

Term used to describe a sausage roll, while acknowledging the English Footballer Frank Lampard Jnr. as overweight for a professional athelete.

Note: These would be called Lampard Rolls, but this is a homosexual sex act. Other sausage related products simply replace the word sausage with Lampard - such as 'Cocktail Lampards' and 'Lampard Cakes'
John: Have you got any more Pastry Lampards?

Terry: I have, but I've left them in the splaigen
by titan_po May 31, 2009
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pastry chef

A sex act performed in the following manner:

1. Have sex with a condom on
2. Bust a nut inside the condom
3. Remove the condom
4. Bite a hole in the tip of the condom
5. Squeeze out the contents of the condom in a decorative pattern on your partner's face.
I had sex last night and gave her the pastry chef.
by NasteeVag March 30, 2009
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