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Appalachian Creek Manatee

(family Trichechidae, genus Trichechus) are large, hybrid land/aquatic, carnivorous mammals sometimes known as creek cows. The Appalachian creek cow lives primarily in the Great smoky mountains national park, gatlinburg, pigeon forge, and Sevierville Tennessee and sightings have been confirmed in a small suburban neighboorhood Hinkle Estates in Tennessee. The creek cow primarily feeds on Golden Corral, Ryans Buffet, Mcdonalds, KFC, and taco bell to help keep the creek cows thick blubbery coat. The creek cow migrates to these regions from unknown locations to breed and to feed on high calorie diets. Creek cows are dangerous and can charge, swaying its massive blubbery turkey neck killing anything in its path just for a something a simple as a beefy crunch burrito or a Mcdouble.
As my friends and I got out of the car to swim in the creek we noticed KFC chicken buckets, burger king wrappers, and empty gallons of chocolate milk containers, we instantly knew an Appalachian creek manatee was close and left the area.
by thisguyfromsomewhere July 12, 2012
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