Secret Detective

When you are banging a girl, and you have your friend hide in the closet, and while you are banging her up the butt, you pretends that your penis slips out, and then your friend quickly rushes to the scene and starts banging her up the butt. Then you leave the room, and go by a window which she is facing, and then you wave to her or do something noticable, and then she realizes, "Who's banging me?"

Dude, when I was giving my girlfriend a Secret Detective and she found out that it wasn't me at the end, she was like "What the fuck!?!?"!

by Zaroosh Innoutian January 7, 2006

Obesity Detective

People who study how people got fat. They then analyze other details like if they will continue to get fat, or if they will lose it, or were most of their fat goes.

Obesity Detective1- "Well she gained three chins over the summer"

Obesity Detective 2- "She probably ate a lot and never got her now huge ass any exercise."

by Obesity Detective March 3, 2008

detective scrotes

when your balls are on a mission

"detective scrotes" is here to analyze the hatchet wound

by irnko June 18, 2008

Detective Noname

Detective Noname is a detective who, while remains anonymous, solves cases with action-packed style and incredible grit.

Woah, they should make a movie and a book, in either order, of the brilliant Detective Noname

by TheFunnyJoJoMan October 1, 2020

Porn Detective

Someone who uses all their internet sleuthing abilities in order to find the source of a particular pornographic image or clip. Google search, reverse image search, questioning discord and reddit users, freeze framing to check out on-screen text, cross referencing screenshots of the model in question with a database of similar looking models until he finds a match, nothing is out of the question when you're horny and trying to get off. This is the dude that should have been working at the NSA to find Bin Laden, but instead he's trying to find the name of the porn star he just watched get gangbanged.

Imagine a dude from CSI, except instead of looking for a murderer, he's zooming into a washed out watermark in the corner of a :03 second .gif in order to find out the source of the porn he wants to jack off to.

Jim: "God damn that was a hot clip. Who was that?
Michael: "No idea. Just found it while browsing reddit. Send it to Kyle, he's a real porn detective. If he's horny, He'll find the source in less than an hour."

by Atsumi Saiki December 9, 2021

flashlight detective

A security guard; a mall cop. The only weapon they have besides a phone.

I was at the mall, then the flashlight detectives bitched at me for loitering.

by Alejandro Fernandez August 24, 2018

detective dive

When you sneak out of a class or any place you are not suppose to leave without permission.

I wanted to go home so i did a detective dive out of math
Or
We were just walking past the fire escape when me and Chewit did a detective dive out of schoool

by rentboi May 25, 2005