Recession Beard

A beard grown after being laid off, due to the lack of need to maintain a certain caliber of appearance. Most commonly found during recession, or other forms of economic depression, when jobs are lost en masse. The loss of job makes the unemployed male down in the dumps, and the laziness makes him less likely to shave.

Tom: I lost my job at the auto plant a few weeks ago.
Bill: So, that would explain that scrappy thing on your jaw.
Tom: Yeah, it's my Recession Beard. Is it really that scrappy?

by Adumbration December 22, 2008

gummy bear album

look for the gummy bear album in stores on november 13th, with lots of music, videos and extras.

“Look for the gummy bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos and extras.”

by XueHuaPiaoPiaoBeiFengShiaoShia June 4, 2020

Beardcicle

Icicles attached to a manly beard. They may even swing to and fro depending upon the size of the beardcicle, the length of the beard hair, wind velocity, and level of activity.

Oftentimes formed from a combination of perspiration, condensation of exhaled breath, and sleet/snow, and extremely low ambient temperatures and/or high wind. Beardcicles may require physical exertion to acquire such as, but not limited to: snowshoeing, chopping firewood, running, cross country skiing, et cetera.

After chopping and stacking three cords of Oak firewood during the 5°F snowstorm, Octavius decided to go snowshoeing during which his beardcicles swung together clinking like empty beer mugs as he moved.

by ImperialFleet1 February 16, 2015

Bear Warp

(n.) A secret mode of transportation available only to bears. A bear using the bear warp will spin once on the spot and appear immediately at the location, however remote, that he or she has in mind as he or she turns to initiate the warp. Often, when there are people around, a life-like shadow image of the warping bear will persist in the location he or she has just left to make it seem the bear has not warped; this is to protect the secret of Bear Warping from people and other animals.

(v.) To use the Bear Warp system. Only bears can use it.

Example #1:

First Bear: "Hey there, friend. How are you getting to the Berries 'N' Honey festival tonight?"

Second Bear: "Hi! I won't be finished fishing for trout in the river for a while, so I guess I'll have to use the Bear Warp to get there on time."

Example #2

Little Bear: "Hey Mama Bear, what is that bear doing over there? It looks like he is sitting down, but there is no chair underneath him! Is he crazy?"

Mama Bear: "No, Little Bear! He probably just used the Bear Warp and is sitting in a seat wherever his Warp Destination is."

by talbear13 January 21, 2011

beer bear

A large bear shaped vessel (ie. big bear shaped animal cracker tub) used for holding communal beer to share at totally rad parties. Best when chanted and/or sang.

I want some beer! Where's beer bear?! BEER BEAR! BEER BEAR BEER BEAR!

by jhendendo June 8, 2011

bearded bagpipes

A slang term for a set of hairy testicles.

"She played amazing grace on my bearded bagpipes all night."

"I heard you deflated your bearded bagpipes all over your mom's face."

"Too bad she choked on my bearded bagpipes before I could play her a song."

by brBling April 18, 2009

Depression beard

When you unintentionally grow out your facial hair because for multiple nights you’re too tired/lazy/depressed to shave

Person 1: Why are you growing out your beard?
Person 2: I’m not, this just a depression beard

by I don't really care December 12, 2018