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Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.
Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.
by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007
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Meal Banger

Delores got home from work early and was looking forward to heating up the leftover spaghetti from the previous night... She walked into the kitchen to find her husband, Baxter, having sex with the leftover pasta... She shouted "you meal banger!" and proceeded to insert a piece of garlic bread in her vagina.
by G.T. Collins August 27, 2009
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Related Words

Bucky Barnes

Steve: Bucky Barnes, I hecking love you!
by hvntypplhrdfclsnggddmndr November 6, 2020
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banged me like a cheap screen door

a verbal expression. to fuck someone repeatedly and vigorously without regard to the sensibility or consciousness of the person being fucked. Usually done without protection. May be used to describe male-female or male-male action.
I can't even sit down this morning because that guy I hooked up with last night banged me like a cheap screen door. I hope our second date is just as good.
by Vanesca April 18, 2012
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banger alert

When a dope ass song comes on you shout this out
When someone turns on that new hit by 21 Savage
"BANGER ALERT!"
by Fuckme456 February 9, 2019
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Spunk Barge

A woman who enjoys moisturizing her body with the ejaculate of numerous men.
Gabriella was in the bath soaking in the ejaculate of 20 homeless gentlemen. She testifies it makes her skin silky soft. Fuck that bitch is one hell of a spunk barge!
by JGCL September 13, 2011
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Banged In

A phrase, common in law enforcement circles, that means to call in sick to work.
"Hey, I thought Andrews was supposed to be here on the morning shift."
"No, he banged in. Said something about having the shits all last night."
by LEODude67 October 4, 2016
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