absolutely jorkin my shit 

A higher form of jorkin it usually in a communication form meaning to jack off in an aggressive manner

Yo I’m absolutely jorkin my shit right now and by it let’s just say my pentis

absolutely jorkin my shit by The-jorkin-king January 13, 2025

Absolutely Killed it, This is Dead 

When someone does absolutely ass on something (“Absolutely Killed it means you did well but adding “This is Dead” with it means that you did bad)

KSI Absolutely Killed it, This is Dead

Absolutely Killed it, This is Dead by ndotty_gzzzz March 9, 2025

Absolutely Delicious 

Used by influencers on TikTok that are on ozempic or mounjarro to describe the most mediocre meal

When I got home I had a spaghetti carbonara ready meal and I just added some cheese on top and guys it was absolutely delicious

Absolutely Delicious by Keeley Wilson May 3, 2025

Absolutely Moronic 

The state of being of completely and utter foolishness and stupidity

Ex:

Jill: Dean thought I shit in the cheese so she washed all of it in the sink

Mike: WHAT THE FUCK. DEAN GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MORONIC.

Absolutely Moronic by chadeesa October 2, 2025

Absolutely Useless

Russel Cole

The primary job requirement of the Alabama coordinator of band operations is to be absolutely useless.

Absolutely Useless by Attheend June 9, 2026

oh absolutely 

A phrase commonly used to confirm a statement or question when completely sure of oneself. If said with a condescending tone, "oh absolutely" can be an indication that the speaker is a tool. Often used by know-it-alls and douchebags.

Person 1: Hey, does the University of Pennsylvania have a good business school?
Tool: Oh absolutely! The idea that you would even think otherwise is completely ridiculous and shows that I am far superior to you.

oh absolutely by beef nuggets April 23, 2009

Okay, goodbye, Edan. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the good times we've had. However, I truly hate you--like, I absolutely hate your fucking guts 

One of the greatest insults of all time. Originally said by Johnathan Andrew Wicker, Junior on June, 18, 2019

Johnathan said this to Edan, "Okay, goodbye, Edan. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the good times we've had. However, I truly hate you--like, I absolutely hate your fucking guts," Edan killed himself shortly after

Okay, goodbye, Edan. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the good times we've had. However, I truly hate you--like, I absolutely hate your fucking guts by the milk man667 June 12, 2019