santa claus 

The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.

Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.

--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!

--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.

santa claus by This Bumblebee Transformer is going up your fucking ass September 8, 2008

santa claus 

a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.

Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."

Kid : " A tazer."

Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"

Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."

Mom: ......

santa claus by Ninja Cullen December 18, 2009

Santa Claus 

A red communist fat ass who doesn't know how to shave and owes me a pogo stick.

Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.

Santa Claus by FuckYouSanta August 27, 2013

dirty santa claus 

The sexual act of cumming onto your own or your partners chin or lower face to replicate Santa's beard. While also saying "ho ho ho" (optional)

Amy: "So how was he in the bedroom?"
Diana: " everything was going great until he pulled a dirty santa claus"

dirty santa claus by JohnBrown69 April 22, 2015

Santa Claus 

Every boys idol because he's knows where all the naughty girls live.

Jonny: Santa, I just want something that will makes me really happy on Christmas Day.

Santa Claus: Well Jonny, I know what Jenny does when everyone else is asleep.

Santa Claus by thats right I said it July 18, 2009

Santa Clausing 

When someone is "trapped" in a chimney a la Santa Claus, with their lower half exposed, preferably dangling. A second person then performs sex acts on them.

This can be done with a real chimney or a fake, specially-made chimney fitted with handles and a harness for support. Holiday cosplay encouraged.

1. To get in the holiday spirit, my husband gets in the chimney and I "Santa Claus" him real good.
2. I used to be into BDSM, but now, I'm mostly into Santa Clausing.

Santa Clausing by KrisKreezy November 22, 2016

Green tea Santa Claus 

A white-ass Boyfriend That has a girlfriend that forces him to be vegan

One of my friends is a green tea Santa Claus

Green tea Santa Claus by Keona McCnugget March 8, 2019