Jersey massage

To physically assault someone, either with your fists or with a weapon, such as a baseball bat, pool cue, axe handle or pipe; in simple terms, a beatdown. The "Jersey" part of the phrase is a slang term for the State of New Jersey in the United States. Residents of New Jersey are known for being a bit more "physical" than most Americans when it comes to resolving disputes...

When I walked out of the bar and saw some scumbag pissing on the side of my car, I gave him a Jersey massage that he'll never forget.

by Led Zeppole March 11, 2004

Nickle Massage

A better name of the horrible, horrible 'musician', nicki minaj.

Guy 1: "Hey, do you know that song 'Bottom's Up'?"

Guy 2: "Unfortunately... Why are you asking?"

Guy 1: "Because I've heard that the girl rapping, Nickle Massage, will give anyone a rub-down for only 5 cents!!"

Guy 2: "Oh... Do you get a happy ending?"

Guy 1: "DUH! Just look at her!"

by Nonetheless June 22, 2011

lead pipe massage

1)savage physical beating

2)verbal beating, scourned, read her/him the "riot act"

1)he/she got the lead pipe massage while he was walking home from work last night.

2)he/she got the lead pipe massage for being late for the meeting.

by WstLwnG March 3, 2009

Bishop's Massage

1. To wank and rub one out in a fast and feverish manner.

2. To receive a handy from your camp counselor at summer camp.

1. I was late for work again today. Gots cut back on the Bishop's Massage.

2. How was summer camp this year? Great. Experienced a Bishop's Massage for the first time. I'm already signed up for next summer.

by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

text massage

When you receive a text and your phone is resting against your genitals, causing the vibration to massage your package.

"What was that face, dude"
"I just got the nicest text massage from my Blackberry"

by VPforVP September 23, 2012

Australian Massage

The Australian Massage is the action of massaging the 'Land Down Under'

This is basically a cooler name for a rub-down, feel-up, fingering, hand-job, or 2nd/3rd base.

Tom gave Stacy an Australian Massage in the front seat of his car.

After a long Australian Massage, Jane was juiced up and ready to go.

Alice gives the greatest Australian massages ever, don't you think?

by TresM March 21, 2011

Prostate massage

When a sex partner inserts a finger in a male's anus and gently massages the prostate during felatio or other sexual acts

On the escort's voicemail, the caller asked if she engaged in prostate massage.

by Colo Guy August 17, 2011