kumquat kaiser

A shitsprayed, tiny featured, tactless assfruit head of state with a facial cloaca. About as likely to keep the American people safe as Wilhelm the Second did in Germany, by precipitating World War III through incompetence via some reach around backdoor deal.

All hail the kumquat kaiser, listen carefully for his words can barely escape his tiny mouth and will damn all to oblivion

kumquat kaiser by atwatofgingers February 14, 2017

kumquat nightmare 

Absolute madness. The peak of it.

e.g.
'Everything happened in 2020. It was a kumquat nightmare!'
'He's out of control. He wore Hello Kitty crocks to his grandad's funeral. He's a real kumquat nightmare.'
'Don't hire her. At her last job, she tried to climb a wall using only her lips. She's a kumquat nightmare.'

kumquat nightmare by iseesounds February 27, 2021

kumquat fruit

a wack ass fruit nobody has ever heard of
its a funky fruit with an edible tardy peel you can find these ovals in southeast asia

guy farding: this party is so kumquat!
dick long: thats so kumquat
rueben: eyes likes kumquat fruit

kumquat fruit by DiscordReject4 March 24, 2025

hairy kumquat

1) a kumquat that is hairy
2) a lump-shaped person with disproportionally long arms
3) a type of finch

Girl 1: Danggggg, that new guy is a real hairy kumquat.
Girl 2: I dated a hairy kumquat named Josiah back in the day. It was magnificent, highly recommend.

hairy kumquat by Clauth Towel September 21, 2016

Emperor Kumquat 

A literal Transformer.

If Comodin Cam is the king of Transformers YouTube, then Emperor Kumquat is the equivalent actually, a monarch of TF YouTube.

Not only does he have an ASMR like voice that is SO satisfying to listen to, but he also brings hope to the Transformers fandom (like Cam) but in a very DIFFERENT way.

He points out big and small flaws of the TF community as well as educates other TF fans through Transformers about their culture, physiology, as well as the positivity of representation forms, and why it matters.

Very inclusive guy (it's nice seeing someone explain forms of sentient identities)

Top tier knowledge of Transformers and he is making a game called Transformers: Mercy on channel!

TF fan 2: Ok I spent 69 hours watching Comodin Cam and I am officially hooked on Transformers YouTube. Feed my addiction.

TF fan 1: Ok, Emperor Kumquat. He takes kind of a different approach to Cam, however still super dope.
TF fan 3: He's the one who got me into TF IDW comics. Stories are top tier and just like manga in terms of writing and quality.

6.9 hours later

TF fan 2: His voice is just so soothing. I used to be so irrationally against lgbtq+ people, but now I realize that other beings can also be like us, or different in any other way, socially, culturally, physically and mentally. They are sentient too

Tf fan 1: Ikr? Big yaas king
TF fan 3: Big yaas *emperor

Tf fan 2: Aight, off to see this TF Mercy! I'm excited to see a fan's interpretation and possible outcomes for Prime's ending for Starscream!

Emperor Kumquat by Big Chungus Starscream March 11, 2022

fist the kumquat 

An alternative to 'pull the trigger' when committing on a large or comment worthy purchase.

Also fisted, fisting.....

I'm about to fist the kumquat on the latest Golf R lease deal.
Does anyone think it will drop in price in the next three weeks?

fist the kumquat by Ftk16 November 16, 2016

Pickle me kumquat 

1) First used as a pirates way of saying "give me your wifes penis"

2) Now used as a statement to attract the opposite sex with vigor and passion.

Why hello there............PICKLE ME KUMQUAT!

Pickle me kumquat by Kumquatunityforeverpenis March 13, 2011