carpet cop

A.)A lazy cop who stays inside the station.

B.)A cop who does nothing but clerical work inside the station.

''Man, the sergeant is such a lazy ass! He's such a carpet cop. All he does is stay inside while we're out on the field.''

by soybean1 December 18, 2009

Carpet Sexual

Being physically attracted to a carpet

The carpet sexual made sweet love to the dark gray carpet

by Ayurpjurp May 29, 2019

Hairy Carpet

someone (normaly a woman) who has a lot of pubic hair.

"man, that bitch's hairy carpet was crazy!"

by Smexalicious October 21, 2009

red carpet

The pubic hair of a red headed woman.

"He thinks he's getting inside? Please, Bonnie's red carpet is VIP only."

by Veronica Veil May 19, 2008

carpet dweller

1. Any middle management types who rarely leave their carpeted offices. Generally have no idea how things really get done around the place they work and usually have "big ideas" about workplace improvements that improve nothing and waste untold hours of labor.

2. Any office worker who will do anything they can do to avoid going out onto the production floor among the people who actually get the work done.

Carpet Dweller 1: "We have some ideas for work flow improvements! Should only take about three additional minutes a day!"
Production worker 1: "Three minutes?!? Seriously this will add at least an hour to my day!"
Carpet Dweller 2: "Hey, since you are on your way back out onto the floor, will you take this out to so-and-so? I can't, the hard concrete hurts my knees and I'm right in the middle of updating my FaceBook page? kthanksbye!"

by anonymostlydrunk September 28, 2009

Shag carpet

A carpet to shag on

"Hey, a shag carpet! I didn't know you two were swingers!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 17, 2018

burned the carpet

Having sex with a woman until her vagina hurts, usually caused by a lack of lubrication.

Manwhore003: Man that bish over there is walkin kinda funny.
Manwhore004: Yeah, I burned the carpet last night, she was out of K-Y.

by Dr4T7 February 16, 2006