mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger

Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.

by Tonksalot September 14, 2018

holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction

Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.

by Dman1011 February 21, 2023

Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.

"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."

by JaxMP August 8, 2018

Big Masturbation

The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma

Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium

by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020

intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.

Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.

by Patriot-X April 25, 2010

Group Masturbation

The act of when multiple (useally the homies) people mainly of groups of three or more masturbate within the same room.

Or in a circle although that is mainly referred to as a circled jerk

Homie #1: group Masturbation begins in eight minutes

Homie #1: Nevermind everyone, Kyle snitched

Homie #2: fuck kyle

Homie #3: yeah that fucking bitch

by BoredToHell2 December 18, 2021

Masturbation Muscle

When a male has fapped so much, that one arm is bigger than the other one.

Guy 1 "Dude how did Daniel get so buff?"

Guy 2 "Look at his arm."

Guy 2 "It's because he tones his Masturbation Muscle."

Daniel "No! I just workout."

by Lifewithaknife November 1, 2011