Almost Blowjob

When you're sure that you're about to get a blowjob, but then events out of your control cockblock you.

"Dawg, i almost got a blowjob last night"
"What?"
"Yeah, this girl was for sure going to give me a blowjob, but then her boyfriend called her. He was waiting outside to pick her up. I got an almost blowjob."

by TimBayBe December 13, 2009

THE NAKED COWBOY HAT OF ALMERIA

a cowboy hat....but u can only wear it wen ur naked

when wearing the THE NAKED COWBOY HAT OF ALMERIA u must be naked at all time

by wanny danny lanny panny fanny November 26, 2009

You almost thirty!

Meaning you know better than that. You are too old to be doing something stupid.

Her: I like to wear pigtails and barrettes in my hair.
Him: You almost thirty! Come on now!

by Bell07 February 3, 2008

almond joy

A situation in which a man's testicles might shift to a position that is very uncomfortable and requires adjusting.

Rick totally forgot how deep my car seats were the other day and gave himself an almond joy.

by destructoid user February 25, 2008

I'm almost there

I'm almost there is what a guy tells his jack-off squire when he almost reaches the point of no return while being jacked off.

Matt always says "I'm almost there" when he's about to blow his load when I'm jacking him off!

by USAF Cadet July 30, 2021

almostsmart

A shitfestival message board full of Bush haters and emo kids with shitty tastes in music.

"Really, how fun is it to come to Almost Smart? It's full depressing emo kids sharing their shitty taste in music, drugs,poems and views on life"

by Higgins March 22, 2005

Belcalis Almanzar

belcalis Almanzar is the empress of rap. she is known to have opened the door to many rappers like Megan Thee Stallion, Doja Cat, the City Girls duo or even the rapper Saweetie. She holds countless records and rewards as the legendary Grammy for best rap album.

belcalis Almanzar is the empress of rap

by popnews June 1, 2021