Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.

"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."

by piss boy jr February 19, 2022

Jared's Ears

Most ticklish ginormous, and gargantious motherfuckers on this planet, in the solar system, in our galaxy, in our milkyway, and especially, on this side of the Mississippi. These existing figures that we call ears are the biggest most pergananant beings on the face of the same planet i breathe on

Man I got a real Jared's Ears on my balls

by Christophlak March 30, 2024

Jared (homeless guy)

Jared! The homeless guy down the street! He got kicked out by his parents for no apparent reason?… Anyway he’s now working for Walter where he keeps accidentally breaking the sink, he’s trying to save up for college but let’s be honest he’s 23 and never gonna get in college. (He also looks kind gay)

El caca: Look, it’s a homeless guy!
Walter: No that’s just Jared (homeless guy).
El caca: Oh, Look! It’s Jared !
Walter: Yeah Jared, that homosexual.

by ELCACAISAPIECEOFSHIT October 29, 2022

Jared

JARED is a sexy guy with a nice ass. Quiet and shy at first but once you get to know him you'll wanna hang onto him for the rest of your life. Jared's are the best boyfriends anyone could ever ask for

"Jared hits so different ""

by Sadknee June 22, 2020

Jared

That attention-seeking, annoying guy that dramatically reacts to everything with emphasis

You: *gently touches his shoulder*

Jared: *throws himself against a wall* OOWHWHGHHH WHY WOULD YOU PUSH ME?????? WAAGAGAHHHJJJ

by phroggg November 27, 2025

Jared Character

A character that is orange weird and wacky

that guy is such a jared character

by bignbomb74 April 23, 2021

jared

jared, a fuckboy who plays with girls feelings. he uses you for sex and will not care if you are hurting. he says that you’re his only one but check his phone sis!!!

jared only texts me at night trying to get freaky!

by iknow_youre_reading_this_jared May 9, 2020