Not to be confused with the grim "legalese" term for the infamous auto-insurance-fraud procedure, this phrase refers to a totally-positive-and-pleasant action that you employ while interacting with small children. It begins when an eager innocent-minded pint-size comes racing towards you at full speed with a big grin and his arms held out; you therefore hastily reach down and swoop up said hurtling youngster in your arms while simultaneously "doing a quick one-eighty pirouette" to rapidly swing him around with you, as well, so that he doesn't lose much of his accumulated momentum. You then swiftly squat down again and deposit him back on his feet so that he can continue running as if nothing had stopped him or even slowed him down much.
About da only time dat you would not perform a "swoop up and squat down" is if da child either appears to be upset and thus needs comforting, or desires a quickie-cuddle ("To win in life's race, children need plenty of lap time"), in which case you should instead simply sit down and cradle said closeness-craving youngster on yer knee. Be sure to keep in mind, however, dat you may need to spend at least a few minutes at dis endeavor, even if da child merely wants a few seconds of "lovies", since any other observing youngsters in da general vicinity may notice said affectionate clasping and decide dat dey would like a little snuggle-time from you, as well. It's just like if a hot chick is allowing a mushy-hearted fellow to massage her pretty feet, and one or more other nice guys happen by and observe da fun activity; it may cause said girl-loving dudes to experience a sudden misty-eyed craving for cute toes, as well, and so said damsel may therefore be obliged to remain seated there for some time while all of da guys "take turns wif her tootsies", eventually leaving her feet totally "burnished and polished" from having all da callouses rubbed off from her slender soles.
by QuacksO June 8, 2019
Get the swoop up and squat downmug. A term coined on the AMC show "Better Call Saul", describing a particular fetish involving one's ass sloshing around in a pie. May also be used as a derogatory term toward an unpleasant person.
1. I know it seems like an unusual fetish, but Matt has a huge collection of videos depicting men performing squat cobblers.
2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.
2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.
by bouchole September 3, 2016
Get the squat cobblermug. Fetish whereas sexual gratification is achieved by sitting on pies and or pastries. Cream pies and meringues are the most commonly used for safety reasons.
Kim:What's your turn on baby?
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.
by Clive Bixby September 3, 2016
Get the Squat cobblermug. by astrotom September 18, 2022
Get the Love squatmug. 
The action of filling yourself a bowl of ganja and then not taking a hit immediately after.
Minimum time of 2 minutes after filling it qualifies an individual to be a bongsquatter.
Minimum time of 2 minutes after filling it qualifies an individual to be a bongsquatter.
by Dsig Dinesh August 18, 2025
Get the Bong-squattingmug. Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying
by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016
Get the Squat Cobblermug.