Mind reading is a way to explore the minds of anothers. You have a secret sexual fantasy? Whether it be those divine twins who work in the sandwich shop down the road, or dressing up as Nanamis Gouri and being licked by traffic wardens, just find someone who has done it and suck the experience right out of their brains. Presto, you might as well have done it yourself! Anyone can be a mind-reader, and of course sexual gratification is not the only use it can be put to. Many people, including babies, have learned the skill and use it on a day-to-day basis, although in the case of infants, nobody knows what use they put the knowledge to.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Mind reading mug.the bullshit formulas, procedures and reasons stoners used to explain certain phenomenon and develop theories based on said phenomenon. what causes stoners to explain why things happen with bullshit reasoning that sounds scientific. semi-related to stoner logic. The person who experienced these thoughts while high inferred them to be a type of reasoning ,generally used with pointless topics while stoned, thus it was named Stoner Science. Not everyone can use stoner science. Aperson needs the right mindset. A scientific/philosophical mindset generally. Others may work.
Actual example of Stoner Science from actual stoned person: The reason why sugary drinks helps wash away cottonmouth: Elements possibly have microbiological properties. THC is very weak microbiologically and therefore most liquids can get rid of the cottonmouth possibly caused by THC particles that collect around the inside of your mouth after smoking marijuana. Microbiologically, most liquids are stronger than THC and work like white blood cells to eradicate viruses. They go into your mouth and the erosion of the slick layer of THC that is cottonmouth is caused by the microorganisms of the liquid killing the THC microorganisms. Sugar is microbiologically stronger than liquid because of the fact that it is made of tiny crystals. The sugar microorganisms roll across your mouth and tear through the THC killing its microorganisms. THC that didn't die will gather back together and reform the layer in your mouth, but the layer will be thinner. This is why after the first drink your cottonmouth is not as bad. Other examples incude: Why dirt covers the scent of a lot of things and why freash air brings down a high.(Typed by the person who experienced these thoughts while high. If you did not understand it you were either sober or high but you do not have the correct mindset.) stoner science(best read when stoned)
by Zerohazrd October 12, 2010
Get the Stoner science(best read when stoned) mug.An attractive woman who is liked strictly for her looks, but once discovered she can read is elevated to a whole new level of hottness.
by X2 May 23, 2008
Get the reader mug.a place in the middle of freaking nowhere in NJ that consists of a post office, a crappy strip mall, an orthodontist, and some random fucking restaurants. don't even get me fucking started on the kids that live there.
almost everyone in this town lives in a cult neighborhood called cushatunk. half of these people are druggies. the other half, well, no one really cares about them.
almost every one in the middle school is wacked out on drugs and has sex at a young age. people throw each other out of windows and there are fights on a regular basis. there is a large population of bisexual/lesbian girls in readington who all have lesbian sex in the bathrooms between classes.
they go to hunterdon central high school. At Central, if you're not an AP kid, it's so easy to fall behind or be ignored. The grading system is crazy and you're sure it's screwed you over for life. Also, you don't know half the people in your grade and you're sure they don't know you.
if you want to hang out with your friends somewhere besides the non-existant center of town then you have to either drive 20 minutes to Flemington or 30 minutes to the Bridgewater Mall.
do yourselves a favor and don't even consider coming here. you'll hate yourself forever if you do.
almost everyone in this town lives in a cult neighborhood called cushatunk. half of these people are druggies. the other half, well, no one really cares about them.
almost every one in the middle school is wacked out on drugs and has sex at a young age. people throw each other out of windows and there are fights on a regular basis. there is a large population of bisexual/lesbian girls in readington who all have lesbian sex in the bathrooms between classes.
they go to hunterdon central high school. At Central, if you're not an AP kid, it's so easy to fall behind or be ignored. The grading system is crazy and you're sure it's screwed you over for life. Also, you don't know half the people in your grade and you're sure they don't know you.
if you want to hang out with your friends somewhere besides the non-existant center of town then you have to either drive 20 minutes to Flemington or 30 minutes to the Bridgewater Mall.
do yourselves a favor and don't even consider coming here. you'll hate yourself forever if you do.
1: hey, let's go to readington!
2: hey, let's shove forks in our eyes!
readington kid: hey let's go hang out at cushatunk!
flemington kid: lol no.
2: hey, let's shove forks in our eyes!
readington kid: hey let's go hang out at cushatunk!
flemington kid: lol no.
by caaildlaine2014 August 19, 2011
Get the readington mug.The Obama political word indicating that your particular "project" is just waiting for stimulus package money injection to get it off the ground. In other words, you have a good idea, but no cash to back it.
Dude, my greenhouse and hydroponic drip system hooked up to the solar panel on the roof is so shovel ready...I just need $2 billion to get it to give back to the grid.
by siouxbee February 18, 2009
Get the Shovel Ready mug.this simply states that if a girl is old enough to read then she is old enough to bleed or have her cherry pooped or sex it up.
Tim: man I can't believe you banged that 6 year old.
Mark: man you know what I say "old enough to read, old enough to bleed"
Mark: man you know what I say "old enough to read, old enough to bleed"
by big tate July 13, 2006
Get the old enough to read, old enough to bleed mug.Totally prepared and/or anticipatory for a particular engagement. Generally used in the positive sense, for an event which one looks forward to. More euphonic than similar cocked locked and ready to rock.
"Dude, you still good for that party over at Jay-Jay's?"
"Shit, nigga -- I'm locked, cocked and ready to rock!"
"Shit, nigga -- I'm locked, cocked and ready to rock!"
by EnglishMayjah February 8, 2009
Get the Locked, cocked and ready to rock mug.