One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.
His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.
by LemmyForever December 20, 2021
The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma
Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium
My penis: Get PornHub Premium
by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020
When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets
Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system
Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison
Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison
by looneylobs August 04, 2017
Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.
by dddisaster November 29, 2016
When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina May 08, 2018
The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.
I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!
by RonnieRon February 07, 2017
Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
by d_Firefox_b March 07, 2023