Intellectual masturbation

A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.

They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.

by SollyDMonkey July 3, 2022

metaphysical masturbation

When you find your way from day dreaming about sex to full on intercourse with your mind. No touching of the genitals. Just that pure, raw, emotional feeling. Your internal love is enough to propel you to climax. Usually done whilst laying in bed, thinking about a significant other or a crush.

I love her so much, whenever I think about her I find myself endulging in metaphysical masturbation.

by JGUMBY April 16, 2019

masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.

Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.

by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022

precation masturbation

The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.

I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!

by RonnieRon February 6, 2017

Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another

Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*

by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023

Air Masturbation

Air masturbation is when a woman sucks air in and out of her vagina or asshole to masturbate with it.

"I heard weird sucking and farting noises coming from her room for the past 10 minutes. She must have been using Air Masturbation.

by baronessjeans May 31, 2018

academic masturbation

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.

This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.

by bob seeply December 13, 2016