Jared Parks

tall skinny kid with a broken back who acts tougher on text than in person. He will threaten to beat you up on text but will slap you on the cheek and say he beat the shit outta you.
"Stop being a Jared Parks and say that to my face."
by Mark Sanito December 10, 2019
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Jared Effect Theory

Aka the ‘Jared Meeks Phenomenon’ occurs when, something that should go wrong won’t, to enforce one’s ego and ignorance on those around him.
The Jared Effect Theory would consist of someone telling you something profound/unbelievable, then the subject will either complete the task and get consumed by self affirmations, or the subject might come up with any excuse in the world to avoid being looked at as human.
by imchampurchump March 28, 2025
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Jared Dixon

Person 1: Who’s that bald guy over there ?
Person 2: That’s obviously Jared Dixon.
by someone who isn’t bald November 21, 2021
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Jared Dixon

Person 1: Who’s that bald guy over there ?
person 2: that’s obviously Jared Dixon.
by someone who isn’t bald November 21, 2021
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jared petrilli

A man or young boy with an exceptionally small penis, and too afraid to commit to sexual relationships because of the embarrassment.
My new boyfriend is such a Jared petrilli, he cant even stick it in my vajay jay
by And You Know That April 15, 2016
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Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears is a condition in which your ears are abnormally large. Most would say that they are ticklish because of how big they are. There is no cure for this but one can live with the struggles of Jared's Ears by parting ways with the negatives of its impact.
Dude I have Jared's Ears

Guy: Dont worry bro I dont wanna tickle them

Thanks
by Christophlak May 29, 2024
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Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.
Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears
by Christophlak June 19, 2024
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