Danger wank is to masurbate within say a dick-length of the enemy. the enemy being someone who's gonna snap off your bird, break it's eggs and burn it's nest, when they catch you.
The object of danger wanking is to entice yourself into a sense of security, then your climax makes you grunt and BOOM they've seen you.
The object of danger wanking is to entice yourself into a sense of security, then your climax makes you grunt and BOOM they've seen you.
***Get out all your magazines/dvds***
***Open your bedroom door***
***Unzip your jeans***
***Whip out the one-eyed-milk man***
***proceed to Danger Wank***
"MUM!!! ...."
you must finish and put everything away by the time she gets to the top of the stairs...
OR
On a long journey in the car:
Sit in the back, while someone else is in the front
whip out your lolipop, and proceed to wank
you must finish without rocking the car off course, atracting attention in the rear-view mirror, or making an audiable sound.
go on, try it....
don't do it for you, do it for the little guy
***Open your bedroom door***
***Unzip your jeans***
***Whip out the one-eyed-milk man***
***proceed to Danger Wank***
"MUM!!! ...."
you must finish and put everything away by the time she gets to the top of the stairs...
OR
On a long journey in the car:
Sit in the back, while someone else is in the front
whip out your lolipop, and proceed to wank
you must finish without rocking the car off course, atracting attention in the rear-view mirror, or making an audiable sound.
go on, try it....
don't do it for you, do it for the little guy
by VisualShock November 20, 2006
by meepers July 12, 2006
(Adj) Used to describe a floppy haired idiot with moronic views, a face like a microwaved piece of play-do and the insight of a Kappa tracksuit. Typically found in North America but there are many of these types to be found around the world.
Donald Trump is an absolute wank puffin.
by SPANGLED February 28, 2016
to masturbate in a place where you are likely to get caught at work, woods, train, cinema, phone box, bus (top deck), park, swimming baths, parked car, waist deep in the sea etc…
by strawberry January 06, 2004
Basically having a wank in your mind..usually over someone sexy...(but doesn't have to be)...just taking the time to picture them in their sexiness.
Can be done by either gender...woo!
*Warning* May be accompanied by Homer Simpson-like drool noises
Can be done by either gender...woo!
*Warning* May be accompanied by Homer Simpson-like drool noises
E.G 1.)
In HMV watching man perving over a poster of Avril Lavigne
Laura:Look at him having a mind wank over Avril
Liz:Eurgh
E.G 2.)
Liz and Laura(me)sitting down in Rackhams waiting for Laura C(not me) to try on some clothes
Laura:*insert name* is so fit isn't he?
Liz: Oh,I know yea! he would so get it!
Laura: He's just so gorgeous...I think i need a mind wank now!
Liz: Me too!
SILENCE FOR A FEW MOMENTS
Laura: Half naked Kylie on that T.V is putting me off..Dammit!!
Liz: You still having your mind wank?
Laura: Trying to.....Why?
Liz: Because i need a tissue!
*The above examples are purely fictional,as Laura and Liz are not this sad and do more interesting stuff in their free time*
In HMV watching man perving over a poster of Avril Lavigne
Laura:Look at him having a mind wank over Avril
Liz:Eurgh
E.G 2.)
Liz and Laura(me)sitting down in Rackhams waiting for Laura C(not me) to try on some clothes
Laura:*insert name* is so fit isn't he?
Liz: Oh,I know yea! he would so get it!
Laura: He's just so gorgeous...I think i need a mind wank now!
Liz: Me too!
SILENCE FOR A FEW MOMENTS
Laura: Half naked Kylie on that T.V is putting me off..Dammit!!
Liz: You still having your mind wank?
Laura: Trying to.....Why?
Liz: Because i need a tissue!
*The above examples are purely fictional,as Laura and Liz are not this sad and do more interesting stuff in their free time*
by Laura December 20, 2003
Someone who spends the whole day thinking with their head up their urethra or vagina and who should be masturbating instead of having their head lodged inside their pee holes.
Derogatory used to describe someone incredibly stupid.
Derogatory used to describe someone incredibly stupid.
by mrrawrs April 29, 2010
commonly used as an insult but often refered to the very messy end of a wanking session if not using your wank jammies...
guy1:dude that was weak!!
guy2:shut up you wank splat.
i had a wank last night and had wank splat all over my bed and got it on my hand...
guy2:shut up you wank splat.
i had a wank last night and had wank splat all over my bed and got it on my hand...
by shaun p July 06, 2005