Matthew 

A fucking canabalistic cunt who eats his grandma’s booty for breakfast.

Matthew, the canabalistic cunt is a coon with a Virginia on his head

Matthew by Crust crab rapist February 4, 2019

Matthew 

A Matthew can be calm, friendly, and overall pretty nice, but if you get on their bad side they are the last person you want to see. With big brown eyes and darkish or black hair, they can be pretty cute, not gonna lie. They can be friendly, laid back, and just a good person, but they can also be a jerk who thinks it’s funny to make fun of people when a secret, like their crush, comes out. Don’t get on their bad side though, or you won’t ever want to see them again. They can be laid back and under the radar at first until you get one mad or get their friend mad. But if you meet a Matthew, keep them around and get them on your good side. You will never know what may happen around them.

Girl: Who’s that over there?
Girl 2: Ugh, it’s Matthew.

Girl: what’s wrong? He’s super cute!
Girl 2: I got his friend mad so I’m on his bad side. That’s the last thing I wanted.

Girl: Well, I’m gonna talk to him and get on his good side. He’s cute and seems nice.

Girl 2: Okay. I’ll see you later.

Girl: See ya!

Matthew by Mal_Mango February 19, 2019

Matthew 

A Canadian man with a micro who happens to also be a downie.

I would kill myself if I was a Matthew.

Matthew by illuminabi March 6, 2019

Matthew 

A boy’s name, Matthew is nice to some kids, but a real bully. The last time he took a cruise, we had the Lituya Bay Tsunami. Last time he exhaled, we had a hurricane.

Man, that Matthew must weigh 40 tons.

——————

Bob: I was getting bullied by a fat kid.
Oliver: It must be a Matthew.

Matthew by Yeetboi360noscop March 8, 2019

Matthew 

Matthew is a nice boy, a little on the chubby side but will always be there to deal drugs (donuts) with you. However, this "nice boy" schtick wasn't around roughly 13 years ago... At. His. Horrific. Birth! His huge head erupted from the womb of his homosexual mother more petrifying than Mt. Vesuvius. However now, most Matthews just farm potatoes and eat water. They are also generally a little on the gay side. --is known for having a "tube shark" fetish--

Joshi: Wtf Matthew!? Stop drawing tube shark nudes!!

Matthew: *pulls out meat scepter?*

Matthew by anonymous March 8, 2019

Matthew 

a cook, usually from portugal

matthew is a cook from portugal......I think

Matthew by IGV March 20, 2019

Matthew 

A happy stoner

M: “hey is that Matthew?”
A: “yeah he’s a real happy stoner!”

Matthew by mic.writes March 20, 2019