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turd burglar

My cat took a crap and the dog ate it...he sure is a turd burglar
by baldylocks1976 January 29, 2005
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miracle turd

when you unload a turd from your asshole and the turd is so perfect that it comes out of your cheeks so elegantly that you do not have to wipe. it is so simple yet elegant.
oh my god i was at KFC and i totally just released a miracle turd
by CHICKYDUDE December 17, 2009
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turd hustling

A person who scavenges truck stop restrooms for left over dumps in hopes of finding lost treasure. examples: peanuts, corn, gum, hairballs, drug filled condoms
Matt was disappointed when his turd hustling expedition at the neighborhood Stuckys left him empty handed.
by AdaMeaux March 1, 2009
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Turd Courier

A person who carriers a human shit through customs in his or her suitcase.

The shit is produced at the end of the victims 18-30 holiday as he or she prepares to fly home. The turd is placed into another tourist's packed suitcase (in a plastic bag or dropped directly) without their prior knowledge. The suitcase is then be zipped back up and nothing more will be said by the perpetrator until the unsuspecting victim has reclaimed their luggage and left for the airport.
"That bitch has fucked me up on this holiday - she's going to be my turd courier."
by nomercy82 October 4, 2011
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turd texting

Texting on your cell while taking a dump.
David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.

Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"

David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"
by LouWho December 9, 2008
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turd life

Turd life: If you live the turd life you are the absolute shit. You are awesome. You are always on Dejanae Dillard and Zawanna Bailey's level.
The way a bad bitch or a boss nigga lives. Living like larry the lobster. Living like you dont have any cares while your swag is on point. Thats how you live the turd life.
by djtooawesome123 May 6, 2014
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