Morning Wood Fairy

It's the mystical spirit that turns your soft serve into rock candy.

When everyone's asleep,
the Morning Wood Fairy comes at night,
she makes our sausages hard,
and vanishes out of sight.
I woke up in the morning,
and I got up to pee
but then I last discovered
my sapling turned into a tree.

Morning Wood Fairy by Cinna the Poet October 11, 2016

silent morning 

A morning in which is free of talking from the girl you just boned the night before.
or
a morning where you wake up and find out the girl has left...leaving the room quiet and peaceful

"Man, last night I boned this boom broad and the next morning she smiled at me and then eventually left. No hassles, no strings attached...was the best silent morning I ever had"

silent morning by Don Stefano July 29, 2008

Vaginal Moanings 

artistic expression used to describe the latest flood of cookie cutter songs from every current-era female pop musician. Recognizable by the usual accompaniment of pianos or violins, these are the songs that are inducing the collective menstrual cycles of the radio free world. Although usually reserved for female musicians, the term can, in some instances, be applied to the critique of male musicians if the estrogen level is deemed beyond the “Seminal Trappings” term assigned to the same music.

Female: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Vaginal Moanings of Sara Bareilles and Taylor Swift.
Male: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Vaginal Moanings of James Blunt.

Vaginal Moanings by John Wesley February 6, 2008

monday morning surprise 

The process by which a male obtains a condom and proceeds to urinate and ejaculate into it. The condom is sealed and inserted into the vagina of a sleeping girlfriend or wife. The surprise is completed when the male attempts to give her an Alabama Hot Pocket causing the condom to explode.

guy #1: yo that bitch is trippin, b.
guy #2: thats why i gave her a monday morning surprise and got the fk out of there.

monday morning surprise by cot4lifeyo1 July 30, 2009

Morning Delight 

Morning Delight - to achieve coitus in the a.m., usually prior to work or somesuch other pre ordained event, successfully and without causing both happy participants to be late!

"Morning Bob! You look happy today!"

"Cheers Phil!, yeah, managed a little morning delight with the missus!!!"

Morning Delight by chefjim March 17, 2009

Morning-after pancakes 

The morning-after pancake is served to your partner after you've had intercourse and you're not sure if you wore a condom or if she was on the pill. It is essentially a morning-after pill mixed into the pancake batter.

Hey, I fucked Kelsey last night and I don't remember wearing a condom so I made her some morning-after pancakes.

Morning-after pancakes by Colin McCarthy May 13, 2014

t'morning 

Also used widely to describe the following morning; used in circustances mirroring tomorrow, (t'morrow).

"I'm headed home. I'll see you t'morning".

t'morning by K Sears September 22, 2005