Spoons fever

Spoons fever is a severe form of depression gained specifically from working at a Wetherspoon. It can be identified by grumpiness, easilily irritable mood, dead look in someone’s eyes and just a general loss of the will to live.

“It was really busy in the pub on Monday and I looked over at Andy who was in the middle of pouring eight pints of Tennants and three pints of Guinness for a group of guys and I could instantly tell he was getting spoons fever from the look on his face as the guys kept changing the order.”

“Don’t expect me to be in a good mood today I have spoons fever I’ve been working for seven days in a row and still have three more until I am off, I need a holiday!”

by SassySpooner January 8, 2019

spoon material

You would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.

He has a really nice butt. He's definitely spoon material!

by Attorney@lawl October 10, 2015

Spoon eater

Someone who is absolutely retarded when it comes to playing rocket league. Is also probably morbidly obese, with dorito crumbs stuck in their flabby rolls. Their moms wish they would have gave head on the night of conception, or aborted hard.

You're a spoon eater

by Bulk Slabhuge March 25, 2022

slotted spoon

A person who is a unlikable and kind of an asshole.

Steve is a slotted spoon.

by artistotle May 5, 2017

Spoon Bandit

A nocturnal infiltrator who creeps momentarily into the spoon position before escaping unnoticed.

Much to my surprise, the CCTV footage revealed the visit from a Spoon Bandit

by nigelburns July 9, 2018

Awkward Spoon

(N.) Adding the element of awkwardness and discomfort to a situation.

We were totally just playing video games when his girlfriend showed up and created the awkward spoon.

by Jewcrackers October 29, 2011

Bleached the spoons

To make a remark on social media that opens you up to ridicule and hilarity.

I bleached the spoons when I said One Direction were musicians.

I bleached the spoons when I didn't know who Shakespeare was.

by Zixer May 5, 2014